halloweenie-weenie

okay. not the best pics. but come on. what's a girl gonna do when her power rangers are RAMPED UP about going trick or treating. not exactly the smartest time to take a pic. oh well.

we had a good time. mommy, daddy, e, alexander, uncle will, aunt phoebe, cousins brian, matthew, ryan, justin and joey, auntie trish and uncle patrick. yes. there were a bunch of us!

ethan so totally got halloween this year. he was at the front of the pack. the entire time! alexander had fun too. not quite as gung ho as e, but he still had fun. when he got tired i took him home (everyone else continued on) and then alexander and i passed out candy. while he ate gobs and gobs of it. all in all it was a very fun night! i have never seen so many trick or treaters out. such fun!

remember.

remember the child we never got to hold. a page about something that happened about four years ago around this time of year. first page i've done about this. it was good to remember. but sad. very very sad. i think about this often. but it also helped me to forget (while i was submersed in making the page). i guess i needed to make it. in case you're wondering, the child in the photograph? that's ethan. he was almost a year and a half old. this photograph just really always makes me think about this because it happened close to halloween and E is in his lamb costume on halloween day of that year.

page a day cont'd. days 5 and 6.

life's been a little crazy the last couple of days. haven't been home much. everyone (except me of course) is now in bed and already asleep!

so here you have yesterday's page and today's uber quick page. tomorrow is the last day of page a day at scrapgal. a page a day is harsh for me. it's hard to fit in the time. i like to scrap when i feel creative....and it's hard to feel creative when trying to cram in time to scrap!

anyway....in other news..stephanie herbert....you rock. seriously. you are the sweetest person ever.

on a side note.....my dad and his wife were here to stay back in july i think it was. they brought thier dog tosha. that's fine. i love animals. but tosha is very old. and can't get around well. my dad took her upstairs with him when he went to bed. in the middle of the night she needed to go outside. so my dad picked her up and carried her down the stairs. only he tripped and fell. on tosha. needless to say it was a long night in which none of us got any sleep. tosha was hurt. she could not stand on her back right leg. in the morning my dad takes his wife to her dr appt (that's why they stayd with us). then they go home. i'm afraid to ask about tosha. well last weekend james ended up at my dad's house (in california) because he was working on the plane. the annual. he had dinner with my dad and his wife. when he got back i forgot to ask him if he saw tosha and how she was. well....i finally asked him. the news was not good. tosha never recovered from the fall and my dad had tosh put down. she was 14, having a hard time....and he had her put down. which breaks my heart. i'm not sure if this is rational or not, but i somehow feel responsible for tosha's death. i want to say demise here. not sure which word is less dramatic. i want the less dramatic word. anyway....my dad sent me an email (i hadn't talked to him since he was here...we don't speak often)....he wanted to know how i was. i answered. told him i'm fine, that james told me about tosha (and only because i asked)...and i told my dad how sorry i was. no response. not sure what that means. if anything. my dad is not the best (and that is an understatement) at communication (especially if it involves conveying any and i do mean any emotion).....

now. on to one more item. i have been tagged by rebecca. i would love to play along but for whatever reason i can't get to your blog!!! just wanted you to know i'm not ignoring you!

now i'm off to watch a movie and i may go to bed early. i am wiped out! and we have another jam-packed day tomorrow (we have family in town from austin)...so it's a good jam-packed......

page a day. day 4.

stamps baby. that's right. with pink, black, brown and white. it's messy. and grungy. and just the way i like it.

page a day. day 3.

day 3 of our one week page a day at scrapgal. i'm still totally in grunge mode. and loving it. felt like a little hambly and some of my new fave imagination project cardstock stickers.

page a day. day 2.

day 2 of page a day at scrapgal. i used a pic of james on the tea cups with alexander (you can't see alexander). i was looking through pics and i liked the blury, crazy feel of this one. didn't scrap it as a disney pic. scrapped it as i always do, by how i feel. and this is how i feel today.

page a day.

we're doing page a day over at scrapgal. come check it out! this is my page for today.

i'm thinking i just haven't discovered 'the' thing.

the thing that i want to be when i grow up.
the thing that i want to spend my time doing.
the thing that i could be so excited about i never would want to stop doing it.
maybe that's why i'm not teaching (aside from the fact i have two small children who require my attention).
i just think that perhaps i haven't discovered my passion (aside from scrapping).

having one of 'those' days.

tired of cleaning.
tired of doing laundry.
tired of 'have to's and should's'.
tired of feeling bored.
i shouldn't feel bored. i'm a big girl. i know how to get out and do things. problem is, i just don't feel like getting out and doing...well....anything.
i'm lackluster.
i'm searching.
and not finding.
what am i searching for?
who knows.
to not feel empty so often i guess. to not feel numb.
i shouldn't feel this way.
i have the best husband on the planet.
i have healthy children.
i have a home.
a car.
food.
a family.
life is not horrible.
it's actually pretty darn good.
so what is wrong with me.
why am i not sleeping?
why do i rarely feel excited?
last time i was excited about something was our trip to dworld. five weeks ago.
oh wait. tuesday i was excited. when ethan's in-class writing assignment was actually ledgible. it was more than that. it was abso-freakin-lutely perfect. which is rare. very rare. handwriting is very hard for him. he excels at everything else...but this one task is hard for him. very hard.
but why do i feel so lost most of the time.
and lonely. today especially.
PMSing?
just basically losing my mind?
who knows.
now i feel better.
i can breathe.
and i can figure out what to do with the next hour until alexander wakes up.
and we have to go get E.
and i have to take the brownies and cake to school for tonight's harvest fest.
and then take E to soccer.
then back to school for the festival.
dinner? yeah. i'll eat some tomorrow.
or maybe i'll have a candy bar after everyone goes to bed.
i think that's a pretty good dinner.
don't you?

busy day.

i was very busy today.
it just felt like i never stopped.
got the things i needed to get done which is good.
now. to get the cake safely to school in the morning and not splattered all over the inside of the explorer.
and to get the brownies to school without mangling them. i never think in advance that i will need a box of some sort. go figure. me...not being fully prepared or forgetting something? unheard of. yeah...that's scarcasm.
i am very tired.
and had a huge mess in the kitchen. which is now mostly cleaned up.
the boys were on meltdown mode tonight. not enough rest i guess. they are now tucked safely into their beds.
got all of the supplies i need to make the goody bags for E's october party (on the 31st). i have everything to go into them. i have everything i need to make the witch cupcakes. and the supplies for the scary ghost garland and bat garland. now just need to cut out 10 ghosts and 10 bats per child. that is 140 ghosts and 140 bats. now that's gonna take me forever. why am i sitting here and not cutting out ghosts and bats???!!! got googly eyes (240 of 'em) today). that's a lot of googly eyes. but the ghost garland and bat garland will really be cute and something i think the kids will have fun making. i would love it if E brought that home to me. which he will, of course...but i meant even if i wasn't the one in charge of the project.
going to unwind now. briefly i hope. because i really really am wiped out. and need to sleep. if only i could sleep without waking up a million bazillion times......

mullin' things over so not really much to say.

instead of chatty chattin' about what's happenng (or not happening) in my life i'll just post a LO i did today.

yes. it's a 12 x 12.

hey. i used to do them all the time.

yes. my LO has more than one pic on it.

what can i say, i'm a multi-faceted scrapper. HAAA! that's good for a giggle.

this is actually the first soccer page i've ever done. the first 'sports' kind of page for that matter. i wanted a bunch of dif pics depicting dif times in the game all on the same page.

at this particular game it rained during the last half. like really rained. for nevada that's rare. i loved it. the kids were soaked. parents were soaked. and it was fun.

i wrote 'killer instinct' out onto a piece of light blue cardstock using a black sharpie. then i just cut out the letters. i wanted that bit of blue behind the black but on top of the white. there isn't even any patterned paper on this. only a MME flower. i wanted a really basic page. i wanted the pics and design of the pics to stand out and help make the LO. of course i can't complete a LO these days without some messy paint.

the mysteries of a six year old.

ethan has been testing me.
and i have been failing.
he gets up and is grouchy. mean and rude to me. mean and rude to alexander.
yet he's an angel at school. go figure.
i know he's good at school because i get a citizenship report (both social and academic).
when i pick him up from school...30 seconds later...and i'm not kidding....he is rude and mean to me.
i have tried different approaches. tried ignoring this behavior. nothing seems to work.

on saturday during E's soccer game, he was ignoring the ball (which was coming right to him), and he was ignoring his coach. so i tried to get him to pay attention. his reaction? he turned around, raised his arms (and fists) at me and shook them. then he yelled at me. oh yeah. that was lovely. nothing like every parent on the field watching and then staring at me. i was coming close to my breaking point. my mother in law as at the game. james was out of town for the day....and linda (my mil) could see it in my face and hear it in my voice that i needed a break. so she took E. she was going to have two of his cousins already so she said one more would not be a problem.

of course he was good for her.
sunday rolls around. and ethan was good. all day.
and today...when i picked him up from school...he was good. NO attitude. not even when we were doing homework.
what changed?
what happened?
if only i could figure it out.
i could save my sanity.
i have been talking to ethan.
telling him i won't be upset if he doesn't get perfect grades on his school work. he seems very worried about that.
i tell him he can come to me with anything.
i want to have that kind of relationship with him. it's so very very important to me.
the one thing that can take me to my breaking point faster than anything...well, not really that fast....it takes a while....but it is the one thing that gets to me.....is his never-ending attitude.

sitting on the loveseat while james plays a game with the boys. i'm drinking an extra hot mocha (thanks james)...still feeling achy with a sore throat. though i definitely feel better today than i did yesterday. hoping i feel 100% tomorrow.

so ethan is sitting at the bar tonight eating ice cream.
E: do you have a boyfriend? girls have boyfriends.
me: yes. i have a boyfriend. daddy.
E: no, he's your husband.
me: well, he was my boyfriend first. now he is my husband. E, do you have a girlfriend?
E: yes. a million of 'em. i'll tell you three.
me: (laughing softly)....okay, who are they?
E: taylor, ashley and em.

cute convo. but seriously? first grade and we're already talking girlfriends??? which leads me to tell you how old i was when i first kissed a boy. second grade people. and the lucky guy's name was bruce. no clue what his last name is...lol....but he was a blonde with freckles. that, i can remember.

some scrappies.

made this LO for galblog. it's scrapgal's design inspiration blog. new posts every M, W and F. check it out, yo.








made this page on wednesday (10.10). it's messy, lots of paint and ramblings about how difficult ethan has been lately. his constatant attitude is draining me.


















you can sort of see 'black lines' around the outside of this one (below). yeah. you know the ones...they define your page online but don't really exist on the page itself. so just pretend. looking at white on white does NOT do the LO justice. it's simple. so absolutely simple. but sometimes, after making a lot of messy pages i surprise even myself and whip out a simple/clean page. same pic. one LO messy with paint, one clean.





















now i'm off to go check on alexander.

kid art. ya gotta love it.

E brought this home yesterday from first grade. it's water color and is a pic of the sun and blue sky, our house (the blue blob), and daddy (purple head), some grass and a red rose with green stem. of course he wrote his name in paint (right in the middle of the flower) as well. hey. had to sign his masterpiece, now didn't he.

today i:

made breakfast for the boys.

packed E's lunch.

took E to school.

went to target for a few things.

made lunch for alexander.

cleaned up from breakfast. and then lunch.

unloaded the dishwasher.

cooked dinner.

did the dinner dishes.

did laundry.

picked E up.

played with the boys.

we usually have homework but today we didn't. which was nice.

picked up toys.

gave the boys a bath.

got their clothes ready for tomorrow.

fed the dogs (twice).

fed the fish (twice).

dealth with E's attitude. which sucked. bad. he's trying my patience. i'm doing my best to maintain.

wondering what tomorrow will bring.

i'm not good at making cards.

but i made some anyway. it was for national card making day on saturday and a little croppy crop we had going on at scrapgal. some great cards in the gallery! the 'thank you' card i made has a hand-written note on the back from me which says, 'you bring a lot of sunshine into my life, thought i'd bring a little into yours.' i sent it to my mom to thank her for all she does for me.

and so it goes. it's sunday. which is followed by monday. ~sigh~ which means getting up early, school for E, laundry, cooking, cleaning...and my most fave of all....going to the store. i am going to try to adopt the 'be grateful' attitude. and be grateful i/we can do all those things. we truly are lucky. and i often need to remind myself of that.

my (almost finished) new space.

it's not quite done. there is nothing on the walls yet. i haven't found exactly what i'm looking for. i'm also looking for some brushed satin (chrome-like but more like stainless steel) hook things to go on the wall so i can hang my gaffer tape and masking tape (and a few other things). i want easy access to the things i use often. the space is coming along. i'm looking for a BIG rug to go under my work table. i found one at world market but think it might be a little too big so i'm keeping my eye out until i find the perfect one.

the flowers were picked yesterday from the front yard. i'm trying to enjoy the simple things. i didn't take pics, but across the loft is the computer and scanner. they're ugly. so they aren't going up on my blog. :wink:

what you see is all there is. if my schtuff ever overtakes my shelves i will purge. i have:

jars for all my ribbon

jars for all my buttons

jars for my pens

a basket for all my rubons

a basket for misc things like HS ghost shapes, 7gs labels, 7gs stickers, etc.

a basket for my most oft used rubber stamps

a basket for my most oft used acrylic stamps

a basket for my most oft use foam stamps

a basket for my most oft used ink pads

a basket for my flowers

a basket for my chipboard alpahas

and of course two chrome 'cd holders' which i use to hold my most oft used paints

i am sure this set up is not for everyone. i am not color coordinated. i just think i think differently and this is what works for me.

my pp and cs are in a basket on the floor by my work table. i mostly work on my table but do find that from time to time i spread things out on the floor (mostly when i'm choosing paper) so this works out nicely for me.

aside from my work table i have a table just for my sewing machine. so nice. in the past i had my sewing machine ON my scrap desk downstairs and had to move it off and on depending on what i was doing. my sewing machine is ancient. seriously. and weighs like 30 freaking pounds! i love the little chair at my sewing table and i love the bigger chair (so comfy) which is at my scrap table. THANKS MOM. you rock.

it's nice to have some space. i'm looking forward to finishing it up, decorating and adding the little things here and there that i want.

today?

today? stressful. very. tomorrow? it will be better.

these are my LOs for the october newsletter for scrapgal. speaking of which, scrapgal is looking for two or three new peeps to add to their design team. check out the details here.

in the mood to create but not creating anything.

did this page on sunday. nothing since. and i only did it because i had to. look here. scroll down four posts. not that i didn't want to. i did. i'm just having a hard time scrapping. i'm more in the mood for an art journal page. so that's what i did.

i'm in the mood for paint. and a mess. that's a good combo becasue when i paint everything is a mess! maybe i'll work on a page tonight. maybe not. i might watch grey's instead.

too tired to scrap.

my mom was more than generous for my birthday. she basically got me set up in the loft. two shelving unites from target, two tables (one from target and one from world market), two chairs (both from world market). i now have space to scrap. and space to store my stuff. and it doesn't look like crap. i'm beyond excited. i have an awesome lamp (bright as a freaking runway baby) but really am feeling too tired to scrap. i will make and send a card to my mom. and i'll send her a pic of the final product (though not sure when it will be done). need a couple extra things...not big things...but i want some things for the wall. i love the black furniture with the blue wall. yum. i love my big chair. i'm not so sure james loves me taking over the loft.....he says he doesn't mind....but i think he might.

i'm going to go watch more of season 3 of grey's. then i'm going to bed early. i am wiped! i'm sure it has something to do with the busy weekend and all the peeps in our house.

i'm sort of wanting to scrap....i mean come on....look at my space. oh. wait. i haven't posted any pics. i will. when it's all done. but i really am too tired. but i have some good ideas and i'm sure by the next time i scrap i will have forgotten each and every one of them!

my mom is coming tomorrow.

so why am i sitting down and not cleaning? well....i did just clean the boys' bathroom and the 1/2 bath downstairs. and dusted the stair railing. and started dinner. and cut and arranged two large bouquets and two really small ones for my mom's arrival. and got her gifts together and wrapped. i give her a little something every night she is here. it's not much. and she's only here for two nights. but it's fun to do. i need to dust the family room. and vacuum upstairs and down. i cleaned the stove and the front of the stainless fridge.

need to pick up E soon. soccer practice today and a game tomorrow.

i haven't really felt like blogging since we got back from dworld (which btw james was the most perfect best trip ever). i'm still hugely depressed at being back. and no. i'm not kidding.

feeling unsettled. seriously unsettled. i've got that jittery.....something bad is happening kind of feeling. too many things going on. and none of them good.

now i need to go clean more. oh. and prepare food for the maybe non-existent birthday party for my nephew kyler tomorrow. need to get it all done today since we have a soccer game in the am and then my mom comes two hours later.

happy birthday to me.

well....almost. saturday is the day.

woot! what more can i say. very much looking forward to our trip. james needs it. he needs to be away from work for a while. the boys are beyond excited. and i am too. it will be lots and lots of fun.

now on to a little scrappy i did today. lots of machine stitching all over the hambly goodness (click to make the LO bigger so you can actually see it). little masking tape, some HS alpha stickers, some paint.....what more could you ask for?! and now i'm off the puter. i must pack ya know.

later....

a little scrappy love.

having some fun with love, elsie. didn't think i would, but i actually like her fabric paper. i think the title pretty much speaks for itself.

back from camping.

now the week starts.

hopefully this week won't be as strange as last week!

six more days until my birthday surprise.

six. that's not many. and i'm glad.

if you're looking for some inspiration i have just the place for you. click here. this is the new inspiration blog which has been started by the design team at scrapgal. dina, the DT coordinator, and all the girls on the DT are awesome and so creative. go check it out! scrapgal has the friendliest forum and the best service. it's a great place!

i posted a little project on the blog. there will be random RAKs given throughout the weekend on the blog so check it out! the blog will be updated every M, W and F with new inspo!

first grade.

well here you have it. the big E's first day of first grade. he wouldn't cop to it but i know he was nervous. he woke up three times the night before school started.

i'm happy to say he came home yesterday excited and happy. he said he loves first grade. heh. lets see if he's that gung ho about it in another month.

today the report was again favorable. another glowing day in first grade. but there WAS a problem. and all i can say is thank god it wasn't MY problem. some little boy made his first trip to the principal's office. i got all the gory details. i made sure i told E that should never happen to him. that that would be a very very very very bad thing if it did.

so james.....here's a couple of pics of E's first day. i have many more which you can see when you get home.

we're trying to establish some sort of routine. things are so out of whack here with E being gone from 9:30-3:30. alexander is on a new nap schedule and....uh.....he's having some trouble adjusting. lets just say he's been one cranky little monster (though absolutely adorable) for the last couple of days.

E comes home exhausted. i'm working the bedtime routine back so he goes to bed at a decent hour instead of so late like we have been doing most of the summer.

i'm feeling a little funky......not sure if it's because i'm tired....or if i'm just having trouble getting into the groove of the new routine. whatever the casue....i'm sort of living in a fog. oh. i know. it could be the 8 benedryl i took yesterday. so far today i'm benedryl free. that will change before bed. i'm tired of waking up with that 'allergy' feeling in my face....you know the one....like a sinus infection...the pressure....the runny nose (sorry if tmi)...sneezing....can't breathe....~sigh~ just makes me tired thinking about it.

anyway....boys are in the bath. guess i should go wash them. so i can get them to bed.

what does it take to make 6 boys happy?

a trip to the nevada state fair. you will be looking at james of course, and ethan and alexander. the other three are my nephews kyler, sawyer and riley. i'm pretty sure they all had a great time. i think the pics speak for themselves. as you can see it was daylight when we arrived and way way way past bedtime when we went home!

today i am...

full of mixed emotions.
i am tired of talking cryptically on my own blog.
but what i am sad about isn't mine to share.
i am tired.
i am full of allergy medication.
i am wishing i could lose more weight.
i am overwhelmed by all the sadness around me.
i am looking forward to my birthday trip. it's only 17 days away.
i am looking forward to taking the boys (mine and my nephews) to the state fair tonight. that should put smiles on their faces.
i am going to get off the computer now and go be productive.

i am....

i am a mother. but i am also more than that.
i am a woman.
i am an individual.
i am a wife.
i am a sister.
i am a daughter.
i am in love with my husband.
i am lucky.
i am tired.
i am sick of my allergies.
i am grateful for what i have.
i am feeling melancholy today. can you tell?
i am many things all at once.
but most of all i am lucky.
lucky to have james.
lucky to have ethan.
lucky to have alexander.
i am reminded to appreciate what i have.
and now i am going to finish cooking dinner.
i am also going to vacuum. lol.... hey. i never said i lived an exciting life...just that i am lucky.
with that attitude i can handle a little vacuuming.

some of this and some of that.

well, obviously i'm back from my brother's house. so not a fun trip. i am sorry for what they are going through. christine (my sil) may be coming to our house tomorrow. if so, james and i are taking her boys (all three of them) to the nevada state fair on wednesday. they need some fun. we'll see if she actually shows up.

alexander actually remembers the fair from last year. and all year long he has been asking when we get to go to the fair. well......his day is almost here! i can't believe he remembers last year's event. he was only 2!!

ethan has FINALLY mastered tieing his own shoes. YAY!!!! it's been a long hard battle but he's finally decided he can do it. i told him that was something he HAD to do before he started first grade. speaking of which....school starts in six days! in six days my baby will be gone from 9:30-3:30. i'm not sure i'm ready for that. i have worked with him several days a week all summer on writing, math, reading.... when he wants to, he reads well. the problem is he's moody. and if the mood doesn't strike him...well...forgeddabout it!! i wish his teacher, mrs. murphy the best of luck.

painted one wall in the kitchen lime pop green. oh yeah baby. it's definitly a burst of color. i'm not convinced james likes it. i know i will hear much grief from my family (my dad in particular) about the color. oh well. he doesn't have to like it.

summer is starting to wind down. it's cool in the evenings and dark outside by 8:3o now! the nightly ritual of bike riding is still happening but there's a different feel to the air now.

back to being a mommy. i must check dinner.

no one really ever knows.....

no one ever really knows exactly what is going on inside your head, inside your house...exactly what you are going through.

i can never know exactly what linda (my mother in law) is going through while jim (my father in law) is in the hospital being treated for cancer. he will have been in the hospital for three weeks on friday.

i can never know exactly what my brother and his wife are going through (but i'm about to find out). heading to my bro's house tomorrow for a few days. it's not going to be fun.

i can never know exactly what trish is going through (my sister in law). the entire family on james' side is going through so much right now....

and no one can ever know exactly what james and i go through on a daily basis. why do people find it impossible (at least the people closest to me sans james) to actually think about what is going on in someone else's life. why does my family feel the need to compare to see whose life is most miserable?

why can't my family be happy for us when good things happen? why is there always a 'rub'....some underlying comment. that is so not healthy.

james leaves for alabama tomorrow. ick.

now i'm going to scrap. and jam to some beastie boys. or maybe something else. whatever fits my mood. not sure yet. i just want to immerse myself. forget about everything else and go make something.

back in a few days.

some of this and some of that.

a few random things.

1. i have been bad. bad bad bad. i have been eating normally for about three weeks now. i must stop and get back to closely watching and monitoring what i eat. eeks. i'm afraid to get on the scale.

2. date night was fun. best part? after the wine tasting when it was just the two of us at rosita's.

3. camping was good. james was funny. YES dear. you were. you giggled like a school girl and it was funny.

4. school starts for ethan two weeks from today. not long. first grade is almost here. we have the backpack and lunch bag. i am going out today to buy school supplies (even though i don't have a list from his teacher yet) but that's a whole 'nother post.

5. couple of recent layouts. dina took that photograph on the 'the joke is on you' LO. awesome. if it weren't for her i would have almost no pics from chicago. i really like both of these layouts. i did a 12 x 12 LO. for some reason lately i've just been in a 12 x 12 mood. i have two more 12 x 12's on my desk. i may submit them for the sept scrapgal newsletter. we'll see.

6. i feel out of the scrapping loop. haven't posted on 2 peas in foreva (until today). i hate how it works. more people you know more times you post the more likely you are to get any kind of attention over there. i just honestly don't think i have the energy for it. i really do just look in the gallery and leave praise if i like something. i'm not political. in the slightest. this is the part of scrapping that i hate.

7. i'm off to take a shower and go to target. the boys are playing nicely. for now. i better hurry.

so....the night before last...

james had to work late. okay. that's fine. got home about 12:30 am. AM people. that's a long day. he went to work late the next day because he went with me to watch the boys at swimming lessons. that was good. they like it when dadda (as alexander would say) comes.

well...turns out james is working late again today. blah!!!!!! he's also going to alabama soon and then vegas. double blah!!!!!!! i may take the boys to my brother's house. IF they ever call me back. my bro and his wife? not the most together peeps. my boys want to see their cousins and...well....i guess their aunt and uncle too. ethan keeps telling me uncle barry is cool. obviously he didn't grow up with him. :wink:

today i finished up the gem turquoise (a retro aqua blue) in the loft. i also painted the trim up there. woot woot! got a lot done. i'll post a pic of the loft when it's all done. i am loving the color. takes longer when the boys "help" me..lol...but they have fun. they still fight...but less if i keep them busy and separated.

next on my list? painting the small wall up above the cupboards in the kitchen. can you say lime pop?? yeah baby. cool lime color. and yes. i'm serious. the rest of the kitchen is pearl white with some brown. the green is just the needed pop!

just a little rambling nothing about my day today. i guess since james is going to be late i'll be outside riding bikes with the boys tonight. yippy. not. my allergies will kick in and i'll be swollen and puffy. again. i'm so tired of that!

guess i should go check the front porch and see is my SG order came today. maybe that will help jumpstart me into scrapping again.

do have a date night coming up on friday. woot! auntie trish is coming to our house with her boys to watch our boys. that will be five boys in da house. but i won't be here so it's all good. :wink:

now i'm off to feed the munchkins. so we can ride bikes. so i can get red, puffy, itchy eyes. yeah. good times. lol...

i'm really not good at waiting for things.

i want the new table (well tables actually). one will be my workspace and one will have my sewing machine on it. i want my shelves. and cabinets. and i want them now. NOW. not in a couple of months when i actually have money. N.O.W. lol... it's like the birthday trip thing. dude. i'm STILL waiting!!! 31 more days! sheesh. are ya kidding me?! 31 more days? well...guess i should get used to it. it will be a lot more days than that before i get my scrapping furniture. humpf.

i feel like i will be ten times more creative if i'm better set up and more organized. it's probably a load of crap. it's probably all in my mind. but that's how i feel. i want to scrap. but feel trapped. like i'm paralyzed. sort of funny actually. it's only scrapping. what's the big deal?! in my mind i'm not willing to do anything until i'm set up how i WANT to be set up. that's what the deal is. whatevah. ~rolls eyes at herself~ guess i'll scrap when i scrap. it'll be good or it'll be crap. and that's that!

maybe i AM psychotic.

in one post i say maybe i need a break from scrapping. so what do i do? spend all day today running around to various stores looking for the best way to set myself up upstairs in the loft. i'm moving out of 'my' living room and taking over the loft. i'm sick of the crappy metal shelvy thingy holding my stuff. i'm sick of bad lighting. i spent $20 today. and it was money well spent. got myself a new lamp. it sits on the floor and has five little lamp arms that adjust each holding a 60 watt bulb. that's right baby. 300 watts to light up my world. so for now....until i find the 'right' table and shelves, etc., for upstairs in the loft i will still be downstairs. but at least i'll be able to see what i am doing.

i have a pretty good idea of what i want for myself upstairs. a table to be my work space. some shelves. holding baskets (where all my stuff currently is). a basket for all my rubs. yes. most people have things sorted by color. that's just not for me. at least if it is, i haven't figured that out yet. i will also need a smaller table to hold my sewing machine. and a comfy chair. so i'm on the lookout. went to pottery barn. that's a laugh. beautiful stuff but i'm seriously not going to spend that much money.

actually found something that might work at home depot. home depot! who would have imagined. but i'm not 100% sold yet. so i'm still looking. they have cabinets with shelves that sit on top and a table/desk thingy inbetween the cabinets and shelves which would flank the desk thingy.

no i must go wash the dirty stinky children. then put them to bed. woot!

i'm trying to spend less time on the puter.

that's one of the things i decided i needed to do while i was in chicago.
i also need more trips like that.
more 'kimberly' time to help balance the never-ending 'mom' time.
it was SO good for me.

i'm thinking about taking a long break from scrapping. long like more than a few days or weeks. i'm thinking of dropping out for a while.

i'm watching music and lyrics. back to it. then bed.

i'm back!

yup. back from chicago. i have much to say about the trip but not tonight. for tonight i leave you with these pictures which dina was kind enough to let me have.

here we are! carly (owner of scrapgal), dina (DT coordinator for SG) , anja wade, me, celeste and jennifer.

the next pic is carly, me, jennifer, christi, celeste and dina. really a great time. it was good for me to be away from the boys. i missed them but i needed some time. i have more to say. but later. i'm trying to spend less time on the computer. something i've decided i need to do.

i will say carly is one of the nicest people ever. if you haven't yet checked out scrapgal, you really need to. best service ever and carly often has things no other store does. jennifer is a riot. christi is great. celeste? where to start. love her! and dina..so talented (was guest designer for hambly last month). she is a blast. very funny. okay...need to finish grocery list. i'm shopping in the morning. we're heading out (camping for the weekend with friends) though we'll be back early sunday to attend our neighborhood's block party!

i was feeling artsy.

wanted to scrap all day yesterday. it just didn't happen. and last night (about midnight) i just couldn't take it anymore. sat down and created this. its' messy. it's child-like. it's a reminder for me. it says, 'it's okay to smile. the earth probably won't stop'. yeah..well...it was supposed to also have the word 'spinning'. lol... just didn't fit. and i didn't care. that's what art journal pages are for. to have fun. to play. to express yourself with no restraints, no limitations, no boundaries. it was fun. made my heart race. that is such a rush. SUCH a rush.

anyway...i'm off to CHA tomorrow! woot!!! hanging with some great peeps. hope to see so much (CHA and chi-town).....have lots and lots of laughs, some care-free time, some good food and hopefully a starbucks somewhere in there! i'll miss the boys and james terribly. now i must go pack. tonight i absolutely must load up on cuddles, lovies and kisses!!!

memorable birthday?

well....i would have to say my birthday that's coming up in september....it's gonna be great. it was supposed to be a surprise. and it was for a while. but really james isn't great at keeping secrets (i love you) but he did do pretty well at keeping quiet about hiding money....hmmm.....

anyway...for the last two years he's been skimming money out of bonus checks, etc., and recently purchased for the family (for my birthday specifically) a week long trip to disneyworld. it's a while away. but hey. it's something to look forward to.

what sweeter man is there in the world than one who surprises his wife (and kids) with a trip to disneyworld for her birthday. and we're doing it right. great place to stay, great places to eat, enough time so the boys can sleep when they want to and we don't feel like we have to rush rush rush. i'm really looking forward to it!

a few weeks ago james and i were in the front yard sitting together. he took out of his pocket an itinerary and handed it to me. i was confused at first....just wan't sure what it was. he had to explain it to me! then we madly started planning the remaining things that needed to be planned. we talk about it every day. the boys don't quite know what disneyworld means. but they'll find out. september will get here eventually!

irish dance anyone?

july in reno is all about artown. on an almost nightly basis there is some sort of 'art' event happening. well tonight we went to the wingfield park ampitheater and enjoyed two hours of celtic music and irish dance. my friend kathryn's two girls, ashley and emily were performing. it was a lovely evening. a late one...the boys JUST got to bed (it's 11:00)....but it was so fun to watch the girls dance. the boys ran around, danced, watched the show....it rained (for two seconds). it was cool...a nice breeze....just a fabulous summer night.

then....the instructor of the dance troop asked for volunteers to go up on stage to learn a few steps. well alexander was all over that. he was quiet about it. but i could see it in his eyes. when i was little i remember being so shy and scared that i would sit quietly and watch (so badly wanting to take part) but never doing it. so up onto the stage alexander and i went. we didn't take a camera. but nana did. and she gave it to james. there ARE some pics. just have to get them from nana. alexander had SO much fun. it was hard for me....i still suffer from being such an introvert. but it was worth my discomfort to see alexander dance, laugh and smile. i so wish i could post a pic with this...once i get them from nana.....

59 days until my birthday surprise.

59 days. better than 60. but it's still too many days.

i want to eat chocolate chip cookies. did you get that? plural. cookies. badly. so i settled and had one bite. humpf. now the question is.....can i keep myself out of the bag until they are gone? i put them in the freezer. i'm way less likely to see them if they're in the freezer. out of sight out of mind? lets hope.

now. on to the ice cream. took the boys with me to the store this morning. we needed quite a few things. well....lately the boys have been having an ice cream cone after dinner as their after dinner treat. so today they asked for more ice cream. i let them pick out 1/2 gallon each. but come on. i'm only so strong. right? one picked chocolate. hello! the other? chocolate chip. oh...yeah...we threw in some mint chocolate for good measure and a 1/2 gallon of cookei dough (totally for james). ice cream with vanilla? really not worth eating. so now i have a freezer full of ice cream and chocolate chip cookies. what i need is a padlock. yeah. that MIGHT help.

a little of this and a little of that.

had a good weekend. camping with friends. lemon drop martini (or martinis)...um...yeah....that would be plural.....played some cards....just got out of the everyday. the boys hung out with kathryn, mike, ash and em while we went to a wedding then we went back. they swam, played hard and were exhausted! nana and poppa were there. always good to see them. barbara made the most awesomely delicous choc chip cookies. oh my god. i couldn't stop eating them. it was like the flood gates had been opened!!! holy crap she's ruined me! now i need....NEED i tell you...more choc chip cookies!

james made his oh so delicious pot stickers when we got home on sunday. mmmm mmmm good!

sent in E's soccer form. he'll be playing fall soccer. found out who his teacher will be. school starts aug 27th! first grade. holy crap!

getting my hair cut and toned on wednesday. can't wait. it's tooooooooooooooooooooo long.

oh...and it's freaking HOT here. ICK. please please please please don't let me AC stop working! i should get downstairs. i'm hiding. heeheehee....the boys are downstairs with james. aaaaaaaaah. :wink:

clean and graphic or...messy?

i sometimes think making a clean page is much easier than creating my usual style of page. and this is strange because i used to think creating a clean page was much, much harder. maybe my clean page sucks and that's why it just came together. i know it's not my fave. but it has clean lines and from time to time i seem drawn to clean lines. which is just so....odd!

so i created the clean page. then created the messy page. i like the messy page. way more than the clean page. it's more me. but, as i said, from time to time i just like to mix it up a little bit and just let whatever comes out...come out...and not worry about it. so there ya have it.

had a great 4th of july. just hanging out with james and the boys. not having to do anything, be anywhere....we had a water fight...family over for a bbq....family nap....went to san rafael to watch the fireworks...it was good. talked about going to the lake but we just weren't in 'rush rush and get ready mode' so we didn't!

i'm a little late...but i've been tagged!

My roommate and I once: never really did anything with a roommate. i had one once....but we didn't really hang. it was purely for financial reasons.

never in my life have I: done drugs of any kind.

High school was : sucky. very hard time in my life. i was pretty much on my own. my parents were wrapped up in their own messy lives. my brother and i fell by the wayside.

When I'm nervous: my mouth gets really dry and my voice shakes. i hate that.

My hair is: about to get cut and conditioned. it's also the shortest it's been since i was 8.

When I was 5: my kindergarten teacher's name was mrs. springer. i still remember her. i also remember painting (easel and everything) in my kindergarten class. good stuff.

When I turn my head left: my neck hurts. my neck has been hurting since yesterday.

I should be: in bed. instead i'm going to go scrap for a while.

By this time next year: i hope there is a cure for dilated cardiomyopathy. hey. a girl can hope.

My favorite aunt is: not close with any extended family really so i don't have a fave.

I have a hard time understanding: intolerance and hatrid.

You know I like you if: i don't freak if you touch me. i've got a thing about being touched by strangers and/or people i don't know very well. ICK! i'm also very very very shy. i will be very very very quiet until i get to know you a bit. once i feel comfortable there will be no shutting me up. :wink: i think people misunderstand my being shy and think i'm rude or i don't even know...but i'm not rude. just shy!

My ideal breakfast is: i love bacon, fried eggs, omlets, english muffins, hashbrowns, pancakes....all that really really good stuff that's really really bad for you! so i rarely eat it. but when it do, it's such a treat. yum!

If you visit my home town: if you consider where i'm currently living as my hometown....if it's winter i'll take you skiing. there are some primo resorts here. if it's summer i'll take you to lake tahoe.

If you spend the night at my house: be prepared to be accosted by callie. she loves people and wants everyone to scratch her butt. woof woof. james will make you the best lemon drop....EVER. we'll scrap...laugh...eat...whatever you want!

My favorite blonde is: alexander! little freaky blonde kid. :wink:

My favorite brunette is : um....i dunno. i have always been partial to brunettes. always thought i would marry a very dark-haired guy. weird.

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: uh.....this question takes way too much brain power!!!

I shouldn't have been: so angry at ethan today. holy moly did we have a morning!!!

Last night I: watched some of rescue me (on dvd from netflix) and went to bed way too late. i should have scrapped. i need to get all my assignments done by the 18th.

A better name for me would be: no clue. just do not....do NOT call me kim. eeks. i actually can't imagine being called anything other than kimberly. however, it's not my favorite name.

I've been told I look like: i'm not sure that i've ever been told that i look like anyone!

ever feel like you have nothing to contribute?
that's how i feel right now.
like i am invisible.
like no one hears me.
why do i struggle with this so much?
why are my emotions so jumbled up right now?
why do i feel like withdrawing into myself and never coming out?
why do i feel like i am, as the saying goes, a day late and a dollar short? i put effort into something thinking this time i will have something to contribute.....but guess what. the 'usual' doesn't happen and things go in an entirely different direction and i, yet again, have nothing to contribute.
i am in such a foul mood at this very second.

on a separate note....
i am sad for my father-in-law.
sad for my husband.
sad for my mother-in-law.
and i'm tired. tired of worrying.
tired of feeling like i'm just hanging on by a thread.

sometimes you just don't realize how much stress and worry there is in your life and then it crashes around you. i just want some happy times. and to not have to think about the 'next' thing that will happen.
aren't i a cheery person tonight?
um....yeah. that would be a no. lol....

i've been paged. time to ride bikes. seems the neighborhood is out and we're joining the fun.

now it's...

73 days until my birthday surprise.

hoping good things will happen today.
hoping the boys will get along.
hoping.....i could go on. but i must go get ready to take the boys to their swimming lessons.

september is too far away.

75 days until my birthday surprise.
75 long days.
i'm not good at waiting for things.
james, i'm feeling a little down. do you have anything in your pocket for me?

yesterday.

eye all better? check.
scrapping? check. (one page anyway).
nap? check. (short but hey. i'm not complaining).
surprise date lunch with james? check. the boys played at grandma's with their cousins. it was SO nice.
left overs/rummaging in the fridge for dinner aka not cooking? check.
starbucks for breakfast with james and the boys? check.
yesterday was a very nice day.

perspective.

it's all about perspective.
and i'm getting some.
some way.
some how.
i need an attitude change.
i'm aware of it.
i will make it happen.
i just will. (she says as she sends the oldest to his room for his attitude) ~sigh~
but i will. i have to.

is this what crazy feels like?

one minute i don't think i can take any more stress and i'm losing it.
the next? i'm fine. totally fine.
am i going crazy? james would probably say yes.
am i just overtired?
or is it something more.

i know that tonight is better than last night.
last night at this time i was in urgent care with james. he was debilitated by extreme pain. and had been since 6pm. that's three hours. possibly the first migraine he's experienced. guess we'll find out. now 'imaging of his wee little brain' is required.
i mean seriously. people. what couple...what two people both end up going to urgent care on the same day? was that for real?
home by 10:00. at least we got to go home. follow up later this week.

i want to end on a positive note tonight. because i have been a down in the dumper kind of girl lately. and i need to stop that.

i'm happy i have air conditioning. because it's been freaking hot. when inside i have been comfortable. for that i am extremely grateful.

i'm happy james wasn't sent to the hospital last night. it could have played out that way.

i'm happy i have a home to call my own.

i'm happy i have an ipod because i'll be using it on my flight to chicago next month. speaking of which.........will i get over the guilt of leaving the munchkins? i know they will be fine. it's just alexander i worry about. he's still pretty little. and asks for mommy a lot.

the thing i wish? that chicago wasn't the only upcoming trip i...me....personally had planned. i would like to find out what life is like outside of being a mother. i feel i devote much of my time to the boys. i've sort of lost myself in the process.

i'm just happy to be at home....with my family....and i'm about to go read story before tucking the boys in for the night. hopefully the rest of the night will be uneventful. i like uneventful.

freak out!!!!!!!!!

there's a song.....from a long time ago....it's playing in my head. i cannot for the life of me remember who sings it. james something or something james...rick james...yeah. that's it. i think that's it anyway. anyone remember that song?

well...i freaked out today!
1. because my eye freaking hurts like a mo fo. bacterial conjunctivitis sucks. 'nuff said.
2. because my family practitioner's office is f' ed up. i called today to get an appt (i needed antibiotics for my eye). i don't run to the doctor every two seconds. i just don't. i go when i really really need to. and today i did. BUT.....since i haven't been there in three years...well....they didn't have a current chart. so they decided to classify me as a new patient. WTF? i am NOT a new patient. why does this matter you're asking? well....if i was an existing patient (which i am), they could have seen me at 11:10. perfect. right after swimming lessons with the boys i'll head over to the dr. only it didn't work out that way. since i'm now 'a new patient' and i'm freaking pissed....very very pissed.....well...now they don't have an appointment time for me. an existing patient gets 10 minutes. a new patient requires 20 min. so no appt for me. seriously?
note to self: remember to call dr. ornellas' office when i am NOT sick to schedule an appt. huh?! yeah. that's f' ed up.
3. so i call james....i'm more than a little upset. i'm losing it. happens when i'm over tired....when i've been sick for six days...one thing after the next...i'm freaking driving with one eye closed because it hurts so much...so yeah. i'm a little distraught. poor james. he caught the brunt of it.
4. i get to swimming lessons (which is where i was driving to while talking to james). um......he shows up a few minutes later. lets just say it didn't go well. he was angry at me....wanted me to go to urgent care....i wanted to find out how much more that cost than my regular dr.....some tense moments......well i ended up going to urgent care. all i wanted was some antibiotic drops. now i have 'em.
5. but i feel bad. james took four hours off from work...all because of me....dropped off and picked up my prescription.....told the boys he would take them to lunch (for having to wait in urgent care)....so we did that....but i really just wanted to go home...my eye freaking hurt....
6. yeah. do i sound like i had a good day? james didn't either. for that i am sorry. i shouldn't have freaked out. it's all good now....but damn. i'm still pissed at my fam practitioner. believe me i am.
7. i've had two doses of antibiotic drops. i can actually remove the cloth from my eye for more than two seconds now. tomorrow i will wake up and it will be much better. i'm sure of it.
8. tomorrow i will leave james alone so he can concentrate on work.

ps: thanks for putting gas in my car yesterday james. that's just what i needed.

one of my fave pages.

did this page on wednesday. it just came together. i really like it. slapped down a HS mask, finger painted around it. then when it dried i machine stitched around the mask and finished up the page. i love the colors...the feel...and yes. i'm having a love affair with heidi swapp right now. i used a HS mask, ghost punctuation, tape and alpha stickers! the pp is mustard moon (phonebook paper) and the other pp is k & co and i'm in love that that paper too. i will so be using the big piece i cut the small pieces from some time soon.

journaling:

will i ever learn?

why do i keep tryin?

will there ever come a time when i will stop?

lets just say this is an ode to my father and leave it at that. lol...

not sure if it's just me that likes this page. it's that perspective thing again. but in the end i guess it really doesn't matter. what matters is that I like it, right?!

where do i start.

the last two days? unbelievable.
i am sick as a freaking d.o.g.
sore throat.
achy body.
yeah me. not. guess i finally got something....not what every other member of my family had...at least there's no throwing up. knock on wood....omg i hate throwing up.
didn't think i could make the drive home today. seriously. slept two seconds last night. i was hot. then cold. i was sweating....then freezing.
and i spent an amazingly large amount of time with my dad's wife. why. why?! yes...i knew i would see her. but i did not go TO see her. i went to see my dad. who knew i was coming. who ASKED me to come. so why is it he wasn't even home when i got there? i arrived at 10:30am. he arrived at 4pm. WTF. i just shake my head. seriously.
then when he got there he left. ran an errand. for another hour. i sure spent an amazingly large amount of time by myself while 'visiting' my dad.
note to self: do not go back to my dad's.
more note to self: at least i tried. but i really don't think it's worth trying more.
i could go on. and on. but i'm just not going to. i'm going to go take a hot bath.
i am supposed to be at a birthday party. but i asked james to come home from work and take the boys for me. every inch of my body thumps....and hurts...and aches.....
i just hope i can sleep tonight. in my own bed. in my own house. where i belong. where i can control my life. at least a little bit.
where i won't feel like i'm an outsider and unwanted. does my dad really not care? or is he just not capable to expressing ANY form of emotion. the never-ending question. seriously. why did i go to my dad's? it had been a couple of years since i'd been there. i don't belong there. and i say that every time i come back from his house. when will i learn?

rushing to get out the door.

my entire day will be thrown off kilter if these things are not done.

1. fill up my water bottle (which i take out of the freezer). it will be full of ice (half way up). fill it the rest of the way up with water and voila. instant very very cold water. me likey.

2. grab my bag and/or any mail that needs to be dropped off at the mailbox.

3. make the boys go pee pee. no. not potty. it's PEE PEE in this house.

4. make sure both kids actually have shoes on their feet and that alexander's are on the right feet. he's notorious for putting his shoes on the wrong feet.

5. make the dogs go outside through their dog door. don't want them running out while i back out of the garage. don't want to run them over. doh.

the good news?

i'm already packed. the bad news? we're not going. now alexander has it.
ethan was sick. throwing up miserable don't want to do anything kind of sick friday night/sat morning.
then all was well. for one day.
yesterday comes. i hadn't gone to bed yet (it was 12:30 am) when i hear alexander making 'the' scream. i knew it was all over when i heard the scream. the agonizing my tummy hurts i'm throwing up scream.
nothing like washing a complete bed at 1am. the poor little dude is currently in my tub.
so much for going to my dad's today. happy birthday dad. we'll try again some other time.

i've been tagged!

i have been tagged by the oh so fabulous rachael.

These are the rules.... each person starts with 7 random facts about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of the blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment.

1. i love love love love deadliest catch. at first i didn't like sig but he's growing on me and is now one of my faves.

2. i must have something on my feet. i probably have 10 pairs of slippers. i perfer slippers to socks. i don't like to sleep with socks and slippers i just take off and hop into bed. maybe if i swept more often i wouldn't mind going barefoot??? hmmm. ew, huh. it's really not that bad. or....maybe it is. i'm not sayin'.

3. i once set a forres fire. it was a total acciddent. me and a couple of friends. hey. don't act like you've never done anything bad. i was 8. or younger. who can remember. what i do remember is my dad was the arson invstigator sent out to investigate the fire. yeah. do i need to say more? maybe i do. no people or animals were hurt. it was a very small fire. so relax.

4. i will not eat broccoli raw or overcooked. i will eat it when it's still crunchy but has been cooked a little bit. weird, huh.

5. our dogs have middle names. seriously.

6. for much of my life i did not want to have children. neither did james. but that changed. for both of us. and now we have two fab little men.

7. i love a good chocolate milkshake. i like to make them really really thick but then not drink them until they are a bit melted. now that i'm writing these things down about myself...um....i think i'm weird!

because i am lazy...and don't want to take the time to link up 7 fab peeps to tag....hey.....i'll admit it....i'm lazy....if you are reading this and have not been previously tagged, consider yourself tagged now.

feeling posty today i guess. either that

or i'm bored. yeah. i'm bored. sick child all day? not fun. house-bound? not fun. didn't even make it outside today. E took...what....10+ baths. only thing that made him feel better. here's to hoping he sleeps tonight and none of the rest of us wake up in the middle of the night puking.

now. on to what's on my mind.

submitting. which i have done NONE of in ages. first of all, how do people freaking find the time? i guess i'm not good at time management. thought i was. but maybe i'm not. i hadn't even looked at calls for at least three months....until today. and i doubt i will submit anything. i will at some point....probably...just not now.

submit and forget. that's what i like to do. it sure would be nice if i submitted and didn't have to forget! if anyone reads this, i am so not looking for 'you're good blah blah blah'. i'm just thinking. inside my head but out loud in type if that makes any sense.

there are so so so many talented and awesome scrappers out there. makes me feel out of my league. not sure what i can do to raise my confidence level. well first of all i guess i would need to be able to scrap something that is not total and complete crap. which is all i can make of late. bad scrapping funk. bad bad bad.

here's the thing. i look at someone elses' pages and think immediately i really like it...or...well...of course i don't like everything. not everything is 'my' taste. but what i'm getting at is i can immediately look and say, 'wow. i really like that.' so. why can't i determine if i like my own pages? i used to be able to. i used to make a page and think...yeah baby! good stuff! now? um...no. i look at it and think......hmmmm..... then i put it aside until later when i look at it again and again say hmmmmm. what is wrong with me?!

oh i know. i need a break. well here's the thing. i don't WANT a break. i want to scrap. so what is my issue?! being tired? no objectivity? those things and more? who knows. what i do know is i want to get my scrap on and then either really really love what i've done or really really hate it. either way i just want to have some definite feelings about the pages i create.

here's to hoping i get that back someday. seriously. what is going on with me?!

i'm sure this is long now. and i should pay attention to boy #1 anyway. he's laying on the floor now with his mario. if only mario had the magic power to make him feel better and sleep through the night, huh?! okay. i am truly rambling now. seriously seriously bored today!!!!!!!

dirty jobs.

at 3:30 this morning i hear E literally screaming 'mommy'. he was on the verge of throwing up (which he of course later did) and not in the toilet i might add. mike rowe? you got nothing on a mommy on her hands and knees cleaning up vomit at 4 in the morning. i so did not sign up for that when i decided to have kids. did i? i don't remember that part.

wasn't the last time he would throw up either. he's on bath #10 (i think...who can remember). poor guy is so not feeling well. i just gave him a popsicle....he needs some fluid. that counts. doesn't it? he says he's hungry. had a bit of broth and noodles. then headed to the bathroom. again. i think he's going to stick to the popsicles for a while. i would too.

my day is not going how i planned. funny how that works.

i just hope alexander is not next. can it just pass the rest of us by? please? the boys and i are supposed to be going to my dad's on monday. or are we. time will tell.

we will be having a family nap today. yes. all of us. i just really really really hope no one else will be throwing up today. or tomorrow. she says as her tummy hurts. maybe i won't eat anything for the rest of the day. just in case.

it's friday.

day two of E being home for the summer. yeah. day 2? ONLY day 2? yes. he's a little on the difficult side of late. oh joy.

off to take a shower, get E's hair cut (mohawk here we come).
go to the landscaping place for some slate.
go to old navy too.
yeah. which ONE of these things will we get done? because i assure you it will only be one.

supposed to have a girls' night tonight. i have a feeling shelley won't be able to make it and we'll reschedule. bummer. we'll see.

weekend plans? working on the front yard. again. we're getting closer to being done. at least we see some progress. having shelley and jacob over for dinner sunday to celebrate shelley's birthay. that's it. nothing spectacular. but hopefully good.

5 things i'm grateful for today.

1. two healthy and happy kids. i am thankful for that every single day. there was a time when my OB freaked me out about alexander maybe having downs. and after he was born (he didn't have downs)...but when he was about 9 months old they thought he might have a hole in his heart. he didn't. truly scary times.

2. the big hubby man. yes...james...if you're reading this. you're a pain in the ass but i love you anyway. you lurker.

3. chocolate. 'nuff said.

4. that my car is finally fixed (after two months).

5. my little muffin (alexander) sitting right next to me as i type this. he's cuddling and keeps grabbing my face and giving me THE best kisses. ever. i freaking LOVE his kisses and how sweet he is when he comes to give me lovies. i also love his sweet little voice. so much. yes. i love ethan too but he's not sitting right here with me. ;)