Tuesday, June 19, 2007

is this what crazy feels like?

one minute i don't think i can take any more stress and i'm losing it.
the next? i'm fine. totally fine.
am i going crazy? james would probably say yes.
am i just overtired?
or is it something more.

i know that tonight is better than last night.
last night at this time i was in urgent care with james. he was debilitated by extreme pain. and had been since 6pm. that's three hours. possibly the first migraine he's experienced. guess we'll find out. now 'imaging of his wee little brain' is required.
i mean seriously. people. what couple...what two people both end up going to urgent care on the same day? was that for real?
home by 10:00. at least we got to go home. follow up later this week.

i want to end on a positive note tonight. because i have been a down in the dumper kind of girl lately. and i need to stop that.

i'm happy i have air conditioning. because it's been freaking hot. when inside i have been comfortable. for that i am extremely grateful.

i'm happy james wasn't sent to the hospital last night. it could have played out that way.

i'm happy i have a home to call my own.

i'm happy i have an ipod because i'll be using it on my flight to chicago next month. speaking of which.........will i get over the guilt of leaving the munchkins? i know they will be fine. it's just alexander i worry about. he's still pretty little. and asks for mommy a lot.

the thing i wish? that chicago wasn't the only upcoming trip i...me....personally had planned. i would like to find out what life is like outside of being a mother. i feel i devote much of my time to the boys. i've sort of lost myself in the process.

i'm just happy to be at home....with my family....and i'm about to go read story before tucking the boys in for the night. hopefully the rest of the night will be uneventful. i like uneventful.

2 comments:

Rachael said...

Sorry about Dh's migraines! Hope he can get them taken care of soon! I haven't had one in years (knock on wood) but I know they are no fun!

I'm so happy you get some you time to go to Chicago. I am sad that I am not going and won't get to meet you. :( The boys will be fine and will appreciate you more when you get back, I'm sure! And maybe vice versa too!

Have a good day!

jenscaleshr said...

I hope James is okay. Migraines can really knock a person on their ass.

I'm so happy you're going to have some time to yourself and take a trip to Chicago! Wish I was meeting you there! (We'll need to plan that one day... you know that right?)

Enjoy yourself! YOu deserve the time!