Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
i think i am socially retarded. i absolutely 100% cannot stand the politics of life. politics in scrapbooking. politics in even the most simple task (like taking and picking up your son from school). i mean seriously. what am i, in high school again? cliques of moms picking up their kids. i don't belong anywhere. and sometimes it makes me sad. so then i withdraw. i'm good at that.
i am afraid to show anyone the real me because often times the real me is frustrated, not positive....basically a real mess. and it seems when i let the real me surface....that's when things get messed up. i find it easier to keep to myself and write here, or work in my art journal than deal with real people. kind of scary actually. i'm not a hermit...not really...just sort of. in person i am extremely shy. like painfully shy. i think people are surprised by that the most when they meet me. they expect me to be mouthy....say exactly what's on my mind. and i do....AFTER i've had a few drinks. otherwise i'm pretty quiet. because really...i just don't think i'm equipped to deal with 'friends'. i get to a certain point with a 'friend' and then it's like i quit knowing how to function. i'm not sure how much 'me' to let my 'friend' see....how much is too much....what will and won't scare the person away. what i should and shouldn't say. seriously. i am socially retarded. and i am ALWAYS editing myself before i speak. and that is making me lose myself even more. if that's possible.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
i kind of dig this pic. it's blurry. but i don't care. i think i'll be scrapping it at some point. it kind of has a 'feel' to it and i connect with that. it's like by looking at this pic of myself as an outside observer.....by separating myself and being objective....it helps me to figure things out. if i felt like scrapping at all....or art journaling at all...i'd be all set. but i don't. maybe that's not true. i have been feeling the urge to work in my art journal but the problem is it's always when i can't. it's always when i absolutely can't scrap or be creative. which is the story of my life. i'm pretty damn tired of scrapping only when everyone is asleep. of 'stealing' time to be creative. it sure would be nice just to go scrap WHEN i feel creative. what a concept. i could go steal 15 minutes right now. james has the boys downstairs. but why bother. because in 15 minutes (which is just enough time for me to get all messy and have stuff everywhere)....i'd have to clean up brushes...and myself....and go read story. soon it's beddy-bye time for the boys. and james. who's sick. but by then the creative urge will have passed. so here i sit. not scrapping. not working in my art journal.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
not sure you can really see the texture here, but trust me. it's there. nice, thick paint. love that. i made a cover for one of my art journals last week. it had flowers similar to these. two of them. it was simple yet had impact. it was my art journal cover that inspired me to paint this. this is not painted from a photograph. i just saw in my mind orange flowers in a pitcher and this is how it turned out. the flowers look a little redder than they really are. they have an orange hue to them IRL.
heading off to texas early in the morning for a little family business. back in a few days.
ps. patrice, do you like THESE flowers?