here's what i've decided.

i'm tired of sounding like a mom. 'you guys are gonna pick up those >insert whatever it happens to be here....toys...flashlights....other toys< before you go up to brush your teeth, right?' and i say it in such a 'mom' voice. um....what happened to kimberly. the person who wasn't a mother? the person who didn't use to constantly pick up after her family. the person who had an identity other than 'mom'. don't get me wrong. i love my kids and i love being a mom. but you know what? i need it to not be my entire identity. i need some part of me to be just 'me'. how do i make that happen? it's odd for me to say that. because i have such a ferocious love for my kids. but i have an equally ferocious appetite to still be just 'me'. weird. i must find balance. that's for sure.

the weekend.

it was filled with t ball, buying rocks (oh what fun...NOT), more t ball, grocery shopping, dealing with a seriously grouchy and exhausted six year old, oh..and don't forget the yard work. omg i hate yard work. some creatures destroyed our front yard last summer unbeknowst to us. we were so busy kayaking and camping we were never home. but the creatures are causing us much money in repair. lawn? completely destroyed. cranesbill? completely destroyed. james tore down the rock wall and dug down deeper. we took out maybe 8 bushes. some may be able to be saved. probably not. we will see. we're going to lay down the yard fabric, lay 2 inch river rock over it (james is making a river bed) for the ferocious run off we get in the winter. little creatures be forewarned. i am not a violent person. i don't even eat beef. hey. pet a cow...can't eat one. BUT. i.........have.........yet............to............pet.................a.................vole. so watch out you little $%$^!!!! i'm watching for you. don't make me hurt you. go quietly along your way. do not stop in my front yard again. i am now an angry woman who spent the weekend doing yard work. momma's not a happy girl.

most embarrassing moment?

seriously? i have so many to choose from. it's actually pretty sad. lol... these are the ones i'm willing to tell you about. yes. there are some i don't even let myself think about. it's that bad. lol...

about a year and a half ago james and i (and the boys) were at a restaurant eating dinner. the server asked me when the baby was due. yeah. um. i wasn't pregnant. and yes. she asked this in front of james. i could have died. i felt so humiliated. maybe i should thank that wretch of a person now. could be part of the motivation for me finally losing the extra weight. seriously though? um...you couldn't pay me enough to thank that person. never...NEVER ask a woman when is the baby due even if you know she is 100% outright about to give birth right in front of you.

lets see. another one? when james and i were dating (which we didn't do very long) before he asked me to marry him, one day we were at my mom's house. she was supposed to be gone. we were...uh...'borrowing' her hot tub. she saw we were there and came outside to 'chat'. we were naked. and she stayed. it was like...go away already! lol... i'm still to this day not sure if she knew we were naked or not. i hope not.

i could go on and on about high school embarrassing moments. the most devastating to me was during a routine at a basketball game. yes. i was in fact a cheerleader. and a bad one at that. probably the worse on the squad. lol... my dad (who NEVER took any interest in me in high school) came to watch me perform. he had never EVER come before. i lived on my own and it was bizarre that my dad came to a game. i was so nervous. i totally lost my rhythm and was off during the entire performance! yeah. could have died. did that in front of the entire school. oh the memories. don't you just love high school? NOT. lol...

there are more but i think i've shared enough humiliation to last a lifetime!

lets pretend it's april 20th.

i say this because that was ethan's birthday. a very special day. but. being as busy as i was, i did not have time to post anything special to my son on that day. so finally...i'm doing it today.

i took various pics of him throughout the day. his birthday was on a friday. his first birthday wish? breakfast at starbucks. that's my boy. hard to see because he was a nonstop blur of action but he's eating a cinnamon twist (to go along with his hot cocoa). the breakfasst of birthday boy champions.




















after starbucks it was off to raley's. i needed more butter to finish the swiss meringue buttercreme frosting for the cake. the boys LOVE the race car carts at raley's. it's almost worth the higher prices.














after starbucks, raley's and putting gas in my car it was off to school. fridays are my day to volunteer so on this day i brought my camera. i also brought chocolate covered rice krispy treats. dude. it was his birthday. it had to be celebrated. HAD to. lol... he was quite happy.



















directly after school it was off to red robin for lunch (second birthday request) with good friend jacob (and my good friend shelley, jacob's mom). james met us there. not the best pic, the glare from the outside was horrible. but hey. it's a pic. the event has been documented.














happen to love this shot of my now six year old. isn't he adorable? he is. and yes. i'm saying so myself. lol...














after red robbin we had a t ball game.



















guess who got the game ball. yup. the birthday boy. he was very happy. crappy shot. what can i say. it's hard to manage 14 kids and get a good shot at the same time.
















pretend there is a pic of ethan at ashley's party here. yes. i really have one but somehow deleted it and can't get it posted again in the right order. if i add it now it goes to the top and i'm really too lazy to go through and do all this again. so just pretend you see E standing in the middle of a bunch of children at ash's party.

after t ball we had a birthday party to go to. no. not ethan's. his friend ashley. her birthday is two days after E's and it turned out her party was on E's birthday this year. we were there late. like midnight late. the boys were exhausted but had fun. you can see E, holding the pink, yellow and light blue gift for ash. he was in line to give her the gift.

it was a very busy day. poor kid didn't even get to open a present on his birthday. we were that busy. when we got home from ash's party the boys went straight to bed.

ethan's birthday party pics (his party was on the 21st) are still on my cam. yeah. i'll download those soon. i haven't even looked at them yet. and i want to.

i'm pretty sure E had a good day. i know he did the next day. he opened his presents from us that morning. his grammy came later that day and then his actual birthday party. more about that later. the kid was funny. quite the little host.

i have a six year old. holy crap how did that happen.

oh yeah. did i mention i was in labor for 39 hours? 39. yes, it's his day. but it's also our memory. i will treasure april 20 2001 forever. it's such a special day to me. the day ethan was born.

things i know.

a watched pot never boils. well that's actually not true. a watched pot really does boil. i've tested that theory. maybe i should audition for myth busters.
it never fails. just when i want to choke the life right out of my children (no. i would NEVER really do that)....they stop fighting and are nice to each other. good thing too. for them. lol... :wink:
it never fails. james always seems to notice those new little dents and dings in my car. hey. someone should have told me they moved the garage wall closer to my car. yeah. that actually happened today. bummer, huh?! lol..... really. it's okay. i was going verrry slow. happened when i was pulling into the garage. i checked. my ride's okay. the wall? um. not so much. lol... itty bitty dent in the sheetrock. oh well. lol...

other things i know?
the phone always rings when i am in the shower. are there cameras in my house that i don't know about? how does everyone know when i'm in the shower?
it never fails. if there is chocolate in my house, i will eat it. un-huh (just picture me snappin' my fingers here girlfriend). you know.....the 'oh no you ditent' snap.
the last thing i know? eesh. i really don't know many things. lol... i must go and put my children to bed. weeeeeee! i was going to scrap. but instead i will be doing birthday party prep things. humpf. lol...

it's easter!

at least at our house. just downloaded the pics we took on easter day. here are just a few.

truth...or dare.

i'll take the dare. i'm a risk taker. though this one really isn't all that 'daring'. so no prob! lol.. the best gift i ever got? i have two answers to this one. one time (before kids...ahhh...yes...before kids)....james surprised me with a couple nights at a b & b in mendocino. it was totally spur of the moment (for my birthday). we just got in the car and took off. had an absolutely fabulous weekend. miss the days when we were more carefree. now it's not quite as easy to get in the car and go. too much 'kid' paraphanalia.

the other best gift that comes immediately to mind....when i receive money. sounds greedy, i know. but that way i can buy whatever it is i need at the time. my mom is notorious for giving me money for my birthday (and even sometimes at christmas) tucked away inside of a box. i usually buy scrapping supplies. sometimes i put the money into our account and use it to pay bills. sometimes i don't. sometimes i take us out to eat. just depends on what i'm after at the time.

james usually nails birthday gifts and christmas. so i always look forward to gifts from him. he knows me best. out of every single person in my life. he would never ever buy me a disney movie. thank god for that. i HATE disney movies. he would never buy me cutsie 'animal' things. dude. just because i love animals doesn't mean i want a bunch of cutsie animal crap all over my house! lol....hmmm.....i sound a bit pissed off. :wink: really i'm not.

coming down from the adreneline rush.

that's how i feel. with everything we had going on here....i finally just now feel like i am coming down from the adreneline rush. and i'm tired. so tired. i don't feel like scrapping. i sit. i produce nothing. i end up watching my ipod. i need to jazz things up. just don't have the energy. i should go to bed early. but i never do. it's a never-ending vicious cycle. ~sigh~ and it's about to get crazier. t ball game tomorrow (late one). t ball game on sat. sun i'm trying to hook up with a friend (she needs some TLC). i'm getting ready for E's party. menu planning, deciding what kind of cake (size, etc). whatever i make has to be easily transportable since his party is not at our house but instead at jump man jump. all the food items have to be cold (no way to keep anything hot at jump man jump). food has to be easily transportable too. i think i've got a pretty good menu planned. good stuff for the kids AND the adults. and something i will actually be able to eat. i'll just forego the cake/cupcakes. bummer. lol...

went and bought some things today. trying to get organized. i'm going to do a tall round cake (four layers). E wants chocolate. woot! that's my boy. i'm going to fondant the cake. hope it turns out. i'll also make cupcakes (some white) for the freaks of the world who don't like chocolate. surprised me when i ealized there are actually some people who don't like chocolate. freaks. :wink:

my mom flies in on the day of the party (21st). next friday we have a t ball game then immediately after a birthday party for E's little girlfriend ashley to go to. that day happens to be E's actual birthday (the 20th) then sat is his party. finally found a little something small for E for us to get him (along with the razor scooter). it's gonna be fun to watch him ride his scooter (and i may even ride it too). they're fun. next time i take the boys to the park i'll put alexander's bike in my car and E's scooter and off we'll go. i can sit and hang easily keeping them both in my sights and they can have 'some' freedom!

back to the party...hope i'm planning enough food. got another RSVP today. i'm bummed E's best friend jacob can't come (he has a farm game the night of the party). so to make up for it, shelley, jacob, james, alexander and i are going to take E out to lunch on his actual birthday. so E can have some special time with jacob.

now i should go finish up dinner. the boys are playing outside. they are insane. it's freezing cold. biting cold. brrrrrrrrrrrrrr. i'm warm inside. wearing my fleece jams. yes. i'm already in my jams. what does that tell you? lol....

what kimberly needs

sleep
a vacation
to be satisfied. things are good. why am i always searching for.....well....SOMETHING?!
more sleep. the kind where you stay up late, go to bed, don't wake up 8 zillion times during the night and get to sleep in in the morning until you're not tired anymore.....not when two adorable little boys stomping down the stairs.
okay...yeah..i know...not how this blog challenge is supposed to work. okay. here's what i found when i googled my name + needs.

apparently li'l kim needs to shut up. heh.
When she takes a picture, Kimberly needs to know exactly how much light will reach the film. i can always use photography tips.
Sally argues that Kimberly has been living a lie, so the truth may overwhelm her and make her even more insecure. it's like sally really knows me. lol.. am i living in a harlequin romance novel? and no. i have never really read one.
Silly Kimberly needs all five of her riders around her at all times! um...not even going to try and guess what this is about! lol.. but i sure could use five people around. my house needs to be cleaned. laundry needs to be done. this is always breakfast, lunch and dinner to be made. ~sigh~ hey. a girl can dream, right?!

there is too much sadness in the world.

spent some time with a friend today...a friend who is very sad. i wish i could make her feel better. i really do.

instead of going to bed...or scrapping....i'm watching deadliest catch. i am so fascinated with this show. stems from my time living in fort bragg, of good times....of dating timothy, a guy who was in the coast guard. i have always loved boats....been fascinated by the ocean.....damn i miss the water. the beach. the smell. the mist. all of it.

my new do. (blog chall #12 is below this post)

short. sassy? james would say yes. lol... definitely different. and that can be a good thing. i'm just not sure if it is. yet. lol... it'll take me a few days to adjust.

in other news, FINALLY lost another pound. i'm down a total of 34. but it is so freaking slow now. so frustrating. but i'm sticking with it. i want to lose a minimum of 14 more. doesn't sound like much. but when you're losing one pound every three freaking weeks it sounds like a lifetime!!!

blog challenge #12

my name. hmmm. not very exciting. kimberly dawnay reed. i used to be kimberly dawnay beck. i said to myself, 'when i get married, i want a last name with more than one syllable.' humpf. lol... that didn't happen!

my mom liked the name megan. my dad didn't. they somehow compromised and named me kimberly. my dad made up my middle name. and that's that. see? not very exciting. not wild about 'kimberly' because everyone automatically calls me kim which i absolutely detest. lol.. i'm pretty sure you all know that. :wink: if i could have been named something else? no clue. i can tell you james' best friend scott...his last name is genevish. i did want his last name. lol.. not to marry 'him'...just really like his last name! lol... but hey. what can ya do. i fell for a reed. :wink:

the truth comes out.

i do in fact own a piper arrow. james and i, and my brother and his wife went in together and bought this plane several years ago. not the best pic. this is it during its yearly inspection by our AP (mechanic). i have other much better pics. just don't have any of 'em on the computer and i'm too lazy to go dig through all the pre-digital unorganized pics to get something better. what's my lie you ask? i don't fly it. i have flown it......i went to ground school and was in the process of getting my pilot's license. but i didn't finish. i may at some point, log the required hours, take my check ride and get my license. i may not. james is a pilot. my brother is a pilot. my dad is also a pilot. it's fun. it's the most amazing high when landing a small plane. i think that's the best part. also taking off...what a rush. that moment when you pull back....you're up in the air....that feeling of suspension....
















i did climb lovers leap and yes, i am afraid of heights. i'm glad i did it. i was not happy at the time...lol....i really am very afraid of heights.....but looking back i'm really glad i did it. have no pic for this one...again...too lazy to go dig through the pre-digital pics and scan something.

and yeah baby. i most definitely kissed a dolphin! i swam with the dolphins during our last trip to kona (hmm...two years ago this summer). it was something i always wanted to do. it was SO awesome!

make a liar out of me. go on. do it.

blog challenge #11. make three statements. two are true. one is not. can you guess which one isn't?

1. i own (and fly) a piper arrow (four-seater retract plane).
2. i have climbed lovers leap (a multi-pitch climb) yet i am afraid of heights.
3. i have kissed a dolphin right on the lips.

bad bad kimberly!

it's sunday. know how many times we went out to eat this weekend? three. that's a lot!! bad bad bad for my weight loss plan. bad. not even sure i want to get on the scale on wed!!! eeesh. we haven't gone out to eat that much in a long long time. we were feeling lazy. and i needed to go the store but didn't make it yet. we had a weekend full of t ball. opening ceremonies, a game and then practice. and we spent a bit of time down at the hospital with my father in law. he's still there. going on a week now.

ever have that feeling like you're forgetting something? that's how i feel right now. like i'm supposed to be somewhere else doing something else. like i'm supposed to go somewhere tomorrow but i can't remember where. hate that!

the wind was horrible here today. i hate wind. howling wind. hate hate hate it. it's still blowing out there right now. it was miserable at practice today. the kids did well....i'm surprised some of 'em didn't get picked up and literally blown away. hope the wind goes away and it gets a little warmer this week. one thing i'm looking forward to? when summer finally gets here i get to buy some new clothes. that actually fit. everything i own is now too big. all my jeans are held up by belts. when i undo the belt my jeans literally fall off. don't even have to unbutton or unzip them! hey. i'm not complaining. well...lol...i am...but you know. i would rather my pants fall off than be fat. need to remind myself of that next time i'm tempted to go sneak a bite of something i shouldn't have having.

now to get my big buns off my laptop and go and do something. boys are almost done with their bath.