Friday, September 04, 2009

smores and jellyfish.

in case anyone doesn't get this, my scarcasm is my defense mechanism.
it is how i keep you out.
it is how i don't show you my true feelings.
it stems from a flip attitude.
if you care about nothing nothing can hurt you.
i am scarcastic by nature.
i would guess to some, it seems extreme.
i think people don't get it.
they think holy crap. wtf.
they see it as me being angry.
they don't understand it for what it truly is.
because of this i am often amused at people. by people.
their responses to things i say and things i do.
i laugh when things are funny.
that is pretty much the extent of emotion you will see from me.
when the fluffy make me gag emotion starts to come out i make it stop.
sometimes i am quiet.
i am always thinking.
i freak out if i don't have access to the internet (and some sort of news on a daily basis).
i giggle when i drink.
i am shy.
painfully shy.
but once i get to know you there is nothing i won't say or do.
i hate being in large groups of people.
when i am in a group of 4 or more i basically shut down.
i can't deal.
if i love you there is nothing i won't do for you.
i am not mean.
i try to be in tune to those around me.
to be kind. and caring.
so get a fucking grip people.
my scarcasm has been a big part of how i have dealt with james.
i am harder now.
yes, that is true.
which is sad, actually.
but i am also not hard.
if i ever let my guard down i know what would happen.
because i feel things so strongly.
i am afraid of what would happen to me if i let my guard down.
because of how i do things.
how i just jump in.
it's like this constant struggle.
me wanting to live all out.
but not being ready for that.


Violet said...

Miss Lover,

I like your sarcasm and I've seen right through it since the first time we conversed. I get it.

Been painting lately? Me neither. I have been making lists and folding laundry and cooking like a mad woman. I like to cook... did you know that?

Is it wrong of me to say that your boys are going to be hotties when they grow up? I don't think it is and they SO will.

When I make my first real batch of soap, I'm giving you a bar, ok? That's just how we do.


Miss Vi

QuirkyGirl said...

I pulled up to the drive through to get a white mocha and thought of you. So I told the barista to make it "as hot as you can fucking make it." No laugh no comment just dead speaker space. Apparently, for the barista in question the phrase "As hot as you can fucking make it" translates to "I'm giving you a tepid, luke-warm latte. You are so not getting what you even ordered." I went back and had to have it remade.

I got a kick out of this. Thought you would too.


Rachael said...

I love me some Kimberly sarcasm!!

Leah said...

I love you...just the way you are!