new music.

i spend far too much time thinking.
not even loud music can make it stop.

i am so over winter.

sick of freezing my ass off.

diggin' my new shoes. converse slip-ons and cheap-ass old navy flip flops. that is all i need.

been lookin' for new music. found willy porter. angry words is a good song.

and matt nathanson. matt nathanson is like a badass jack johnson. you know i am all over that. full of feeling. good lyrics. acoustic guitar. does it get any better? click on matt radio at the top of the link to check out a song.

sometimes i wonder what would happen if i did all the fucking things i want to do.

instead of constantly struggling with what i should do and what i want to do.

i struggle with being a mom. there is this other part of me. this other part of me.....that's what gets me into trouble. and i don't care.

always looking out for the boys. always. they are bigger than me.

sometimes that other part of me is so strong. i want to do things. so i do.

i have no measure of what is right and wrong for me now. because things are so different.

james was so good for me.

he kept me level. straight.

i know i have said this before but he brought out the good in me. made my inclination for bad fade away.

now i am supposed to keep myself level. and straight. and i'm not so good at that.