so so excited and honored to be mentioned by The Rev It Up List blog. check it here. thank you linda.
this is a painting i just added to my etsy shop. you can check that out here.
with the death of your husband come many things.
many weeks of life feeling surreal.
life feeling very real. so real it makes you sick to your stomach.
amazing kindness from total strangers. people who heard about you from someone else who heard about you from someone else. people are good. caring. amazing. for everyone who still comes here...(those who leave comments and those who don't)....thank you. it's actually been pretty amazing, to read what everyone has had to say over these last four months. and yes, i have read every single comment.
along with all of this you then have to deal with your finances.
it's been almost four months since james died. i am getting things under control. figuring things out. one of the things i had to address was what to do with james' truck.
today, a friend came over. he is going to help me sell the truck.
i don't want to sell the truck. to me it's a part of james. crazy, i know. it's just a truck. i realize that. but...it's also more than that. alexander asked me why i am getting rid of daddy. so then i had to explain (again)...that that's not what i am doing. how do you make a 5 year old and a 7 year old understand.
the cd that james had playing in his truck...which i took out today...was me first and the gimme gimmes. he actually went to see them a couple of months before he died. dean, he had a freaking good time. i'm so glad you guys went.
james' watch was in the truck. the watch that i gave him for christmas two years ago.
it sort of jolted me when i found it. not even sure why. that is definitely something i will save and give to one of the boys when they are older.
today has been yet another fucking emotional day. and i am quite frankly, getting sick of emotional days. yeah. like that matters. can't make it stop. but i wish i could.
i'm looking at today as taking a step in the right direction. moving forward. making decisions. and gettin' on with it.
seriously. life is a freakin' trip. never in my life would i have imagined this is where i would be and this would be my life. but it is. so now it's up to me to change it from here forward. to make it what i want it to be. if only i could figure out exactly what it is that i want it to be. but i'm working on it. and that's at least, something.