Monday, March 09, 2009

random photo.

random photo from the weekend. went to see my friend krueger. so this is krueger, his daughter kaysea, alexander, E and warner!
things on my mind:
sadness.
i am fucking tired.
anger. people who pretend to care but really don't? they suck. people who let you down. time after time. it is out of pure respect for james that i deal with them at ALL. cuz dude. i so want to tell them to fuck off.
fear.
hope.
loneliness.
emptiness. its just been one of those days. so hoping tomorrow will be better. i know it will!
wanting to get passed it all.
wanting to wake up and feel happy. and excited about life again. not like i'm about to throw up at any given minute. which is how i feel right now.
if a person can be both emotionally and physically exhausted, i think i am there.
wondering if i will ever be able to jump in freely again. without reservation. afraid to let myself do that. and that sucks.
so so so tired of restraint. restraint and me? so do not belong together.

3 comments:

~Amie~ said...

thinking of you my friend and sending some rainy michigan hugs your way!!

Leah said...

sending you some texas size hugs! I love you...
Leah

sausan said...

You will jump freely again ... believe me...this time will come...listen to the sound of the sea waves ...
hugs from overseas