but he's a surfer. and that's all that matters. took this photo while hanging out at the beach with my thailand girls. it's one of my all-time fave photos. a dude. and his surfboard. the ocean. hello. what else is there?
i miss james.
i miss 'us'.
i miss touching him. him touching me. our everyday contact. hugs, kisses....exchanging looks....i miss the intimacy we had.
i always feel like crap when i get back from a roadtrip. the last two nights have sucked.
it's a true story that life goes on. it does. i am ready for that. i'm not quite sure how to put all this behind me, yet still keep james a part of the boys' lives. it's all very confusing.
i haven't had much alcohol lately.
i haven't had much caffeine lately. just enough to keep me from falling asleep while driving to/from L.A.
looking forward to a time when i can sleep. peaceful sleep. not the kind where i wake up 50 times a night and toss and turn.
looking forward to not feeling empty. to being excited about life.