emily sent me a surprise in the mail: a passport-style book (and a few other supplies including some delicous ribbon from thailand) to use to help prepare for our trip to thailand. she randomly stamped a page here and there and added the 'kimberly' stickers to the first page to get me started. i, of course, grunged that page up with ink. after that the page just felt complete so i moved on. if you have the time, click on the images to make them larger. much better that way.
i decided to use this passport book to record my feelings, and why i decided to go to thailand. i cut up some heidi swapp sticker letters, threw in some paint and machine stitching and called those two pages good.
somewhere over the last few years i have lost sight of who i am. i am a wife, and a mother, but after that i don't even know. i love my kids deeply and fiercely but i also know i need to find out who i am. now. after being with james for so many years, after being a mother for 7 years. it's time to focus a little
attention on me. to find out what it is that i want to do, what i want to be. finding an identity other than wife and mother has been something i have long sturggled with. this isn't new for me. when i saw the announcement about thailand on emily's blog something inside of me just sort of took over. i sent
an email to james with a link to emily's blog with a note that said, 'in a perfect world'. that night he came home with a book about thailand. a few days later i made up my mind and sent an email to tara and then one to emily. and now i am going to thailand.
some days it's all i can do to get up, take care of the boys, do what has to be done....and make it through the day. i have lost my passion for creating, for life. i need it back.
exhaustion like i have never felt before. maybe going to thailand will help me see things clearly.
with this trip i hope to find my way back to wanting to create...needing to create. i like the unfinished quality to this page. and the funky vase. love love love funky old vases. as if anyone who has ever seen any of my paintings wouldn't know that already.
these are the pages i have made so far. working in this passport book is the first creating i've done in a long time.