the view outside our hotel in astoria. the boys loved watching the big ships come and go up/down the columbia river. nice.
trying to put myself in the right mindset for what is to come.
trying to keep my perspective.
trying to find the balance of me going on with my life while at the same time keeping james' memory alive for the boys. that is balance i have yet to achieve.
when my need to move finally outweighs my fear of fucking up i guess i'll do something. it's not that i'm afraid of fucking up. i'm not. cuz, dude. i fuck up all the time. but this time....there are consequences. any wrong decision i make will affect us financially. that is a big part of why i haven't made my decision yet. there are also smaller issues...selling my house...buying another one....actually moving. but this is what i tell myself. no matter what happens, we will be okay. i'll figure it out.