Sunday, May 03, 2009

one of my favorite photos from astoria.

the view outside our hotel in astoria. the boys loved watching the big ships come and go up/down the columbia river. nice.
trying to put myself in the right mindset for what is to come.
trying to keep my perspective.
trying to find the balance of me going on with my life while at the same time keeping james' memory alive for the boys. that is balance i have yet to achieve.
when my need to move finally outweighs my fear of fucking up i guess i'll do something. it's not that i'm afraid of fucking up. i'm not. cuz, dude. i fuck up all the time. but this time....there are consequences. any wrong decision i make will affect us financially. that is a big part of why i haven't made my decision yet. there are also smaller issues...selling my house...buying another one....actually moving. but this is what i tell myself. no matter what happens, we will be okay. i'll figure it out.


Violet said...

Fake it 'till you make it, right? No matter what, you and the boys will have people that love you. No matter where you go or how badly you mess up, there will be love in the world just for the three of you. <3

Patrice~ said...

well, when you find that balance and perspective, clue me in.

You honestly blow my mind.
Please don't be so hard on yourself.

You'll make the right decision when it is time. And only you will know when that time is.
'cuz that's how you roll . . .

Violet said...

That photo kicks butt, by the way. great shot!