one of my favorite photos of ethan. walkin on the beach. drinkin hot cocoa. nice.
my toes are now metallic blue. sweet. nice change from the purple that they were (that everyone thought was black). they will be black. at some point.
feeling fuckin' destructive.
that comes and goes.
well. no. it mostly comes.
but i mostly maintain.
feeling overwhelmed today (i was sorting through some of james' things in the garage).
so i layed down in the middle of the driveway.
to fucking get my shit together.
needed just a minute.
and jan drove by (she lives a few houses down).
we ended up spending the evening together.
dan invited us for dinner (he cooks...jan does not)....
jan and i took a long walk.
dan and rachael had the boys.
i don't know what i'm going to do withtout her/them (when i move).
that's gonna suck.