Wednesday, July 28, 2010

that feeling.

WAY more than i would like, i feel, and have felt that feeling.
the feeling that time is running out.
that there is never enough time.
for me to sleep.
for me to paint.
for me to do other things that i want and need to do.
for me to be present and engaged with the boys.
i feel like i have to pack as much as i can into every minute that i have.
it's almost a panic, at times.
yet i'm not capable of doing it.
i'm wondering how to make that feeling go away.
it's like when you go on a trip, and you can't wait to go.
and the trip goes by in the blink of an eye.
before you know it, the trip is over and it's time to go home.
that's sort of how i feel about painting.
and doing other things.
about my kid-free time.
i wish i could make that feeling go away.
james' death has made me VERY aware of how quickly time goes by.
and how things can change.
and that you need to appreciate what you have while you have it.
appreciate every good thing that comes your way.
i hope to never lose sight of that.
and the other things i know to be important.
james' death really, truly did make me aware of what is truly important.
the things that really matter.

1 comment:

QuirkyGirl said...

It's strange...that I haven't ever met you...yet, I feel invested in you and what happens in your life...that I love you as I love my other friends...

Do you have a therapy dude there? I don't know what you're views about such things are, but I know what it's like to live with anxiety. I recently had to go back on my meds. I feel like a better version of myself. The part that CAN slow down (my mind NEVER stops). It's not for everyone I know, but it's helped me boatloads...Kimberly, Me thinks I just discovered what to blog about next...'Sanks, Momma!