one of my absolute all time favoriate photos of alexander.
sept 15, 2010
he was freshly out of the shower with his long locks hanging down.
i love love love this kid.
and this photo.
this week hasn't been the best.
i am beyond exhausted.
what i wouldn't pay for decent sleep.
for the asshole construction dude building the house across the street to not start working at 5am.
some things have been upsetting me this week.
things, it turns out, that i just needed to remind myself don't really matter.
what matters is what i have been through.
the crazy intense love james and i had for each other.
that i am doing what i need to for the boys.
and TRYING to do what i need for myself.
but sometimes i lose my way.
things become hard.
when they don't need to be.
so today i made the boys lay in bed with me.
and let them play their DSI's.
and i took a nap.
because if i didn't, it would have been a bad scene.
i am trying to get myself pumped back up.
so i can function at the level the boys need me to function at.
that *I* NEED to function at.
so instead of just talking about this shit, i can actually DO some of it.