Thursday, March 20, 2008

the scoop.

i think i am socially retarded. i absolutely 100% cannot stand the politics of life. politics in scrapbooking. politics in even the most simple task (like taking and picking up your son from school). i mean seriously. what am i, in high school again? cliques of moms picking up their kids. i don't belong anywhere. and sometimes it makes me sad. so then i withdraw. i'm good at that.

i am afraid to show anyone the real me because often times the real me is frustrated, not positive....basically a real mess. and it seems when i let the real me surface....that's when things get messed up. i find it easier to keep to myself and write here, or work in my art journal than deal with real people. kind of scary actually. i'm not a hermit...not really...just sort of. in person i am extremely shy. like painfully shy. i think people are surprised by that the most when they meet me. they expect me to be mouthy....say exactly what's on my mind. and i do....AFTER i've had a few drinks. otherwise i'm pretty quiet. because really...i just don't think i'm equipped to deal with 'friends'. i get to a certain point with a 'friend' and then it's like i quit knowing how to function. i'm not sure how much 'me' to let my 'friend' much is too much....what will and won't scare the person away. what i should and shouldn't say. seriously. i am socially retarded. and i am ALWAYS editing myself before i speak. and that is making me lose myself even more. if that's possible.


jenscaleshr said...

Don't be ashamed of being an introvert. You're not alone.

I am NOT an extrovert. At all. But I have to be at work. The rest of the time? I'm perfectly happy never leaving my house, answering the phone, or answering the door. Being a hermit actually sounds kind of comforting to me.

In large crowds, I tend to find a quiet corner and observe. I do not like small talk. (again, it's something I have to do at work - bleh) In small, more intimate groups, which is my preference, then I can finally be myself. (most of the time)

I hate all those politics too... they're stupid. I'm witnessing it much more now that my kids are getting older. It sucks and I withdraw from it as well.

Us introverts need to stick together. In small groups. In a quiet place. Not talking. ;)

PS - You DO make me smile.

jenscaleshr said...

Was that too long of a comment? I guess it could've been its own email. Yeesh.

I might not be an extrovert, but that doesn't mean I don't talk a lot. (the voices in my head all agree)

Lisa said...

Girl...I GAHRANTEE that if we met IRL...there would be no holds barred.

There WOULD be much laughter and no censure and just friends putting their feet up, knocking back a few and talking from the heart.

Life is too short to even worry about keeping up with narrow minded lemmings. know what else! If you want to come to Atlanta, I now have season passes to the GA Aquarium and we could take some seriously righteous pixs of sea creatures and humanoid creatures (our kidlets) and then retire to my casa and cook up all manner of fun!

Just a thought

Patrice~ said...

well well well, Kimberly.
it is easier sometimes to communicate via ye olde blogger and MB's.
However, I concur with Lisa.
Get thee to Atlanta by way of Chicago {I'll meet you there and we'll scheme - hee heehee}.
and I'm sure Lisa can find a little 'magic' as you both kick back . . . you know what I mean!

Gardagami said...

See here or here

Michelle said...

Totally know how you feel that whole when is TMI to much for a friend....yeah been there. So now I have one good friend. More like a sister. She's the only one who gets me. Cliques at school totally get that. Who knew PTO was a popularity contest?

You inspire me always so please know you do make a difference and are A LOT more "normal" than you think.