i admit it.
i like to have control of things.
i just do.
but i'm trying to let go. at least a little bit.
it's hard for me. but i'm trying.
i find myself easily bored.
looking for something exciting to happen in my life.
something fun. to shake up the monotony (sp?) of the everyday.
i so should not complain.
in a second things can change.
i am thankful for what we have, that things are the way they are.
but i really seem to struggle with the boredom thing.
and i'm wondering what i'm going to do with E all summer.
it takes a lot of energy to keep him engaged and the boys not fighting.
it means i will have less time/energy to devote to keeping myself sane and more time/energy devoted to keeping the boys entertained and happy all summer.
just thinking about it makes me tired.
maybe i am selfish. i must be.
i love my kids. but i do think it sometimes boring being a stay att home mom. i'm lucky. but bored too. kind of an odd combination i guess. but it is what it is.