Tuesday, February 12, 2008

my thoughts on control and boredom.

i admit it.
i like to have control of things.
i just do.
but i'm trying to let go. at least a little bit.
it's hard for me. but i'm trying.

i find myself easily bored.
looking for something exciting to happen in my life.
something fun. to shake up the monotony (sp?) of the everyday.
i so should not complain.
in a second things can change.
i am thankful for what we have, that things are the way they are.
but i really seem to struggle with the boredom thing.
and i'm wondering what i'm going to do with E all summer.
it takes a lot of energy to keep him engaged and the boys not fighting.
it means i will have less time/energy to devote to keeping myself sane and more time/energy devoted to keeping the boys entertained and happy all summer.
just thinking about it makes me tired.
maybe i am selfish. i must be.
i love my kids. but i do think it sometimes boring being a stay att home mom. i'm lucky. but bored too. kind of an odd combination i guess. but it is what it is.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

You know what?

Being a full time working ouside the home mom is not all that different from a SAHM

OK...so there is the angle of dealing with co-workers who are bonkers..which is mildy entertaining and you DO get to pee in peace (except when chatty cathy in the office down the hall decides to share her dating history while you are doing your bizness)

but all in all...work whether it is in the home or not is, by nature, monotonous.

that's why they call it work.

Which is my long and empathic way of saying..."Don't feel like the Lone Ranger Tonto"

And on a more practical matter.... do you have a neighborhood/community/YMCA pool to join for the summer so your offspring can get a few hours of daily yaya's out while not killing each other and driving you to the brink of madness.

I'm pulling for ya sistah.