Thursday, June 03, 2010

painting i finished yesterday.

this painting, to me, is raw.
another abstract.
it's messy.
and raw.
it's almost visceral.
again, i have typed.
and typed.
and deleted.
it's almost as if what used to help me....
figuring shit out.
on my blog......
has stopped working for me.
my words no longer seem powerful.
or meaningful.
it's like i am disconnected.
still having a hard time adjusting to it just being me. and the boys.
james' death left a huge hole in our lives.
and i haven't quite figured out how to fill up all that empty space.


Carrie K said...
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Carrie K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carrie K said...

babe.this painting rocks my world. you. rock my world. and visceral...fantastic word!

heres to more beach time :)

Anonymous said...

Kim - you are walking down a hard path but the work shows the struggle. Keep going forward! Two steps forward, one step back! You are strong and AMAZING!

Marieke said...

Hey! Just thought I'd check up on you. I've been so absorbed with my own struggles that I tend to forget about the people I care about. Sorry to see you are still trying to climb out of that deep dark hole you're in. Keep going Kimberly. don't give up. You may not see it now but it will get better. Life will get better. Yes even life without James. :-(
You may feel like you're not working things out with words anymore but maybe that has been transferred to painting? I mean, it does feel good to paint right? Maybe that is how you are now doing your healing?
Luv ya!

QuirkyGirl said...

I'm still here. I've been at the hospital but I'm still here. And you're words are still powerful and I hate it that you've felt disconnected from them because they've made me feel connected to you and reminded me of parts of myself that at times I lose sight of. Especially the last post about the ocean. You're making your way in this crazy ride we call living. It's cool that you don't have all the answers. we never really do. We just do the best we can by ourselves and our offspring and hope we don't fuck it up too bad along the way. I'd miss your words if you didn't post them. I'd miss you if this wasn't here to keep our kindred selves entwined. Keep on Keepin On, Momma. And if you ever need an escape there's a commune in Indiana that always has an extra place for you and the boys to kick it ;)