mommy, i have a treat for you!

yeah....um....those words scare the crap out of me!!!!!!! lol.. i was in the kitchen and E comes running downstairs (he's naked because he's getitng ready to take a bath). i was making hot cocoa for james and the boys (we had just gone sledding)...check out the pics....anyway...so E says to me, "Mommy, i have a treat for ya!" so i say, "you do, what is it?" he turns around and wiggles his butt at me and says, "It's some butt." seriously. this is SO my child. lol...

so today we've received oh...a foot, well more like 15 inches of snow (so far and it's still coming down). and dudes. it's the END of february!! of course it fits right in with how it works around here. t ball has started. so of course it should snow. anyway...so james is outside shoveling the driveway (it's about 8:30 pm) and the boys are playing in the snow. they holler for me to come outside. i'm wearing my jams so i grab my boots, a hat, some gloves and my fleece and go outside. james decided we should sled. so we did. it was SO much fun! i hauled some serious ass down the hill! omg....i ate so much snow and was seriously covered when i got to the bottom. i actually thought i was going to jump the path and continue on down the second hill!!!!!!!! it was a blast!!! of course i made james go first (to make sure i wasn't going to die). he didn't. so i got on. so much fun!

350 pics (give or take).

on our trip to mendocino i took about 350 pictures. seriously. i love to just watch my kids camera ready. like seriously up to my eye ready. at least for a few minutes. then i join in the fun myself. i love capturing the boys doing whatever it is they are doing (or not doing). now i have so many yummy, fun, quirky pictures to choose from. here are just a couple. and yes. i realize the pic of alexander is blurry. but i don't care. i love it.

got my brows waxed today. i have this to say about that. OUCH. after that went and got a massage. it's been i don't know, four or five years since i've had a massage. it was good. i'm not really fond of strangers touching me but it felt good to have someone rub my shoulders and back. because they hurt. a lot. and my wrist too. so thank you james (that was his anniversary gift to me...um....almost a year ago). and yeah...i'm just now using it. what can i say.

not really sure if i'm digging my 'oh i'm so surprised' eyebrows. yes, i wanted them more under control. but...um....she may have gone a little overboard.

i say this to myself each night before i go to sleep.
good things are going to happen.
stay positive.
be strong.
believe.
i'm trying really hard to change my way way bad frame of mind (of late).

it's the little things.

went to starbucks yesterday after taking E to school. placed our order (me and alexander). ended up getting our drinks for free. woot! sbx was having some sort of trouble with their cash registers and everything was frozen up. i was planning on using my sbx card (thank you james)...but hey. register not working? no can do. i even offered to pay with cash (rare event i actually had some). but they said no. hey. cool deal.

something i've been thinking about the last few days....steve brown. barely knew him. my dad pits for him at the air races (well, used to)....he died a few days ago in a plane crash....but that's how i met him. he took his race plane out for a flight (Tonopah Low) and never came back. they discovered his crashed plane with his body inside. hits home. james is a pilot. my dad is a pilot. my brother is a pilot. i'm very sad for his wife dena.

UHU baby.

okay. so i took advantage of the 'try our product' thing. got me some UHU (glue stick and glue roller). gave 'em a try. LOVE the glue stick. um...the glue roller? not so much. but i'm sure it's user error. i use the tab dispenser (because i am too retarded to use any type of glue roller). i'm sure it's just me. anyway, the glue stick rocks. definitely a strong bond.

if you want to check out the product (and see if the offer is still good) go to maria filosa's blog.

http://www.mariafilosa.com/?p=1

i just love little surprises.

especially when they're for my kids and there is no other reason other than someone loves my kids that they are sending them something. elizabeth sent the boys a valentine's day package. how great is that? nothing extrvagant. yet it was perfect. it's this kind of thing that restores my view of the human species. seriously.

on another note, james, if you happen to read this, just want you to know my valentine's day was perfect. yes we took the boys with us to dinner. but i don't care. it was good. love me some starbucks and you know it. that was the perfect thing to give me because it's something i can actually use! the roses are beautiful. and....well.....you know....the 'other' present.....love that too!

eesh.

i'm having trouble getting anything done! i'm stuck on a LO. hate that. i've walked away. i actually really like the LO up to this point. but....well....it needs...more. just not sure what that more is. well, actually i know it needs journaling. and i want to write...sloppy...wild....but not in left to right format, not in a square box...so i'm having trouble visualizing the end journaling result. humpf. i'll be at my desk tonight...lol...working! then maybe sneak in a little grey's (when the house is quiet). i'll curl up under a blanket and get dishy! woot! lol...

and on that note, the boys are on their way upstairs to brush teeth. time to put the munchkins to beddy bye. and shortly thereafter their father. he's tired too.

i'm back.

the trip was many things one of which was way too short. it was good. one day it rained and i didn't care. the other day it was beautiful, sunny and absolutely wonderful. it was great to spend time with mike, kathryn, ash and em. the boys were angels on the drive (there and back). they were good the whole time actually. it was awesome that E had ash to play with and alexander had em.

this is all of us (except james who took the pic) in the hot tub. yeah baby. it was awesome.

ethan has a girlfriend! ethan has a girlfriend! hehhehheh. this is E and ash. they were inseparable during the trip which was awesome.

E and alexander. this was taken in the back yard at the house we rented. this cool-looking shack. i got some awesome pics. it was so great to stumble upon some FAB new places to take pics. so freaking awesome.

me and the zan man.

me and the E man. he was cold. i was warming him up until daddy got back with the towels (they were in the truck).

alexander. hey. doesn't everyone wear their batman boxers at the beach?

we spent some time at big river beach. it was beautiful.

whenever we go to the ocean it seems like i always get a pic of E running on the beach. this trip was no different.

down 30 lbs. count 'em. 30!!

woot! yesterday was weigh in day. and i have now lost a total of 30 lbs. and it rocks. all of my clothes are too big. all of them. and i'm happy about it. i seriously doubt i'll stay on track this weekend. i mean come on. we're going to my fave restaurant in the whole world. a girl's gotta live a little now and then. but i'll get back on track as soon as we leave mendo.

i'm just damned excited about losing the weight. i hope to go down one more size. it may take a while. the progress really has slowed down (even though i'm not eating more). one week i lose one lb. the next none. then the next two. but hey. as long as it keeps going down it's all good.

okay. i know i just posted. but i wanted to come back and post something positive. i'm going to try to come to the frame of mind that good things are coming my way.

i am in a serious funk.

not even sure i'd call it a funk. it's a mood. and a bad bad one. i just feel bad. yes. there is a reason. but it's not simple. all i know is i just feel like all the joy and happiness has recently been sucked out of my life. just when i start to feel a little better i remember the reality of things and i feel depressed all over again. i'm not even as excited about this weekend getaway as i normally would be. the joy has been sucked from my life. at least for now. i'm sure it will come back. i'll take everything in, assess things.....figure out how i feel about all of it and then move on. nothing else to do.

i seriously am not normally this much of a downer. and i'm sure once i sort through all of this madness i'll feel better and be more back to normal. so for a bit....just bear with all my negativity. i need somewhere to put it for now and this is it.

we're off in the morning to mendo. the ocean. something i miss each and every day. the peace. the enormity. the smell of the air. the waves crashing. just being there. not doing anything in particular. but just being there. hopefully i'll come back in a much better state of mind. hey. a girl can hope. i bet my husband hopes too.

the last two days?

seriously.
can i just erase them from existence?
wouldn't that be nice?

now on to something happy. only two more days until we leave for mendocino.
and now i'm going to bed.

okay. change of plans.

kathryn and mike are joining us on our quick weekend getaway. WOOT! it's going to be a blast! now we're leaving friday instead of saturday. suits me. i get to go to the ocean one day sooner. i couldn't be happier. i changed the reservations. now we just need to decide whether to leave early am or wait and let E go to school on friday and leave at noon when he gets out.

i will be taking a ton of pics. a ton. seriously. and maybe i can find 5 minutes to sneak off and just sit by myself. sometimes i need to let out a little emotion. and prefer to do it without an audience. five more sleeps and we'll be leaving.

the two nights three days we are there will fly by. but maybe i won't have to wait almost three years between trips. yes. last time we went alexander was six months old. it will be a different trip this time.....alexander is such an amazing little boy. he's going to love it. both my kids love the ocean. just like their mom. and i love that we share that. i'm trying hard to convince E to become a marine biologist. that way whenever i go to see him (when he's all grown up) he'll need to live by the ocean. yup. that's my plan. lol...

some scrappage.

done for a SG challenge (take pics of you with things you love). then scrap the pics. this was from the online crop a couple weeks ago.

feb 10th can't come soon enough for me.

i just booked the house in mendo. we leave feb 1oth. and i can't wait. the smell of the ocean, the cool breeze, the crashing waves, the wharf, just getting away. seriously. i can't wait.