this year.

for santa:
sugar cookies, a glass of milk AND a poster made by E. he wanted santa to have something special.
for the reindeer:
leafy carrots and a bowl of water.
the roses were sent to me by my mom.
she is at my brother's this year for christmas.
perhaps missing all of us being together.
this year it is just me and the boys.
no family.
no friends.
just us.
the boys have been meticulously counting down the days until christmas. E drew a picture of a christmas tree AND a picture of me at the bottom. you can tell it's me. right? because of the spikey hair?!

today:
christmas eve walk on the beach with callie.
made and baked sugar cookies with the boys which they decorated.
bought carrots for the reindeer. (a must have according to E).
watched the video clip santa sent for each of the boys.
let me tell you.
E was one nervous little boy waiting to find out if he made the 'nice' list.
the kid was sweating.
he should have been.
tonight:
sitting by the lights of the trees.
watching a movie.
waiting for the boys to fall asleep.
so i can get the boys' santa gifts set up and in front of the real tree.
and fill our stockings.
if only i could take a hot bath. i so would.
going to bed early.
because you KNOW my early risers (how did that even happen when i am a night owl) will be up EXTRA early tomorrow.
sad? maybe, a bit.
it's different. not really good, or bad. just different.
i knew moving would force me to stand up, and handle what came along.
by myself.
it's a good thing.