a no photo post.

i just want to disappear inside myself.
shrink away.
i feel lost, like there is nothing i can do to stop this downward spiral.
how can i reach out to him?
how can i help him?
why do i feel like it's my fault. i don't really think it is. it just feels that way.
how do i break down these barriers and make my life what i want it to be.
how do i take control?
for some reason i cannot see myself as what i want to be. this is a loss of power.
what are the defining moments in my life?
how do i be myself when i'm not even sure what that is anymore.