i'm just a little fired up.

i take E to his 7 year check up yesterday. it's all good. no shots. he's tall...and healthy....but when it comes to the part where she (pediatrician) asks E if he is playing sports, he says no. i go on to add, 'yeah, he decided this year he didn't want to play soccer, or baseball, OR take swim lessons.' E goes through phases. phases where he is soooooooooooooooooooooo difficult. and this is one of them. so the ped says, 'well, it's up to you (meaning me) to make it seem exciting for him, entice him to want to play.' i'm like...uh.....yeah. (thinking to myself) have you lived with my kid???!! do you have ANY freaking idea how exhausting he can be?? NO?? well then, shut the fuck up. so i smile, nod my head and leave. she doesn't get it. she doesn't know my kid. he's not bad. he's a good kid. but damn is he difficult at times. fights me on EVERYTHING. brushing his hair. taking a bath. reading. there are times i think he is deaf (to my voice only).

so between my allergies kicking my ass (no medication i have ever taken works for more than 20 minutes), being worried about james (how tired he's been), struggling with E, not sleeping, just trying to get through the summer (and that's no way to live)....i am done. i swear to god if i have to decide just one more night what to have for dinner and then cook it i am going to >insert me pretend stabbing myself in the heart here<. lol... i am sure it will get better. if only i could snap my fingers and make it all perfect. right now. wouldn't that be nice?