Contradictions...I'm full of them.

I love my kids. I love staying home with them. I love watching them grow, and learn...watching them interact. I love holding them.....watching them play....hearing them laugh..I love so many things...I fiercely love my children. But sometimes...I wish I had part of 'me' back. Sometimes I just long for uninterrupted free time so I can create. Is that bad? ~sigh~ There are just not enough hours in the day. It seems all my time is spent unloading the dishwasher, making breakfast, lunch and dinner. Doing the dishes. Feeding the dogs. Laundry. Shopping. Errands. Cleaning. Cleaning some more. I feel like I am always just fitting things in....and that does not help my creativity level at all! I do get a break every day, after the kids go to bed. And James plays with them when he comes home from work. It just doesn't seem to be enough. In a perfect world I would live on the coast. I would take the boys and the dogs for walks on the beach every day. I would have time to paint, to scrap, to just...be. I would stay up late....sleep in. I would drink scalding hot coffee in the morning and do it leisurely. Right now I don't even MAKE coffee in the morning. Ah...well...I really should stop complaining. I have many wonderful things in my life. Truly. Most of all the hubby man and two healthy children. What more can a girl ask for? Oh...lol...I know. Some time (not just once in a while) but on a regular basis to CREATE. So that the 'always running out of time' feeling never comes back. In a perfect world...